So I've figured out that along with age and experience, comes courage and strength. While my birthday party (Aug 19) was very nice, I admit I was a little disappointed at the people who did NOT show up. NO, I shouldn't focus on the bad stuff... And after I write it out here, I won't. But y'all know me... If I keep my feelings bottled up inside, I'll go crazy.
Speaking of crazy, you know who I expected to walk thru my door and surprise me? Yep, you guessed it... T*dd. We haven't spoken to each other since our public "falling out." I hear things in the streets though. I know he's still pretty pissed off about what happened between us. Well, shit. I've tried on MANY occassions to man up and apologize for my part in all of this. I even went so far as to make a VERY PUBLIC apology to him. Did he respond? Nope. And I remember him complaining once that I never bothered to call him directly to apologize -- well, I've done THAT a few times as well... I've left text messages, I've sent e-mails... Nothing. But I kept holding on, I guess. I held onto the hope that all of this would blow over. I even put a picture of us on my myspace page with a caption that said, "It wasn't always bad... I miss him and our friendship..." No response. So, because I cannot wallow around in sorrow forever, I've done one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Today, I let him go. I'm sure this means nothing to anyone but MYSELF, but trust me... I couldn't just walk away like that. I held on for dear life. He cut the strings and left me for dead. I went through my stages of depression, my anger, my guilt. I hoped for the light @ the end of the tunnel, y'all... I really did. And I know that he's a stubborn man. I "knew" he'd have to calm down on his own, before he realized just how much was destroyed. I just hoped he'd come back. And then I realized, he's not coming back. It's really the end. Kiss... I love you... I always have... Goodbye.
Thus my courage... The courage to finally accept what I cannot change. Yes, I know the old "serenity" poem. But even moreso, I lean on the words of Sinead o' Conner. ..."The whole time I'd never seen, all I needed was inside me... Now I feel so different..."
I'll write more soon.
AC
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Beautiful Bittersweet
Saturday night was probably the most surreal experiences that I've had as a DJ... Earlier that day, I DJed the 2nd annual Urban Groove House Picnic. Overall, the vibe was very good. Mel, the kids and I all went together. My sister Melva also came to join in on the fun. Trench and his girlfriend were there for a while... Even Mike Banks and UR showed up -- it was like one big family reunion. Good food, lots of barbeque!!! Everyone was in a lovely mood. I wish we could have more days like this in Detroit. Maybe we do, and I'm just too sheltered to see it. Nah... We definitely need more days like THIS in Detroit!
I DJed at around 7:30 pm... Of course, folks were dancing and loving the tunes. I dug DEEP into the crates (yes, VINYL, bitches!) and pulled out some GEMS. I'm talking Ken Collier days... It was wonderful, and folks were feeling it. The spirit called me, and I had to play Jocelyn Brown's "It's Alright, I Feel It!" Sometimes you just need to hear a word of encouragement. Lord, I NEEDED it... And when the music broke down, and Ms. Brown started to testify, baby... It was total church up in there -- at least it was for me. I'd like to say that my set was the peak of the night, but it wasn't... I was only paving the way... Ms. COREY -- I know her from somewhere!!! Ms. COREY politely asked me if she could play a couple of records... I said SURE. I am certainly not one to hog the decks, and I was curious to hear she she had to offer... BABY, she got on those decks and turned it OUT... I mean, the floor was PACKED PACKED PACKED!!! And she worked those EQs like she OWNED them. I stepped back... "oh shit..." This woman -- this beautiful woman, let us HAVE IT!!! Do you hear me? She "beat those bitches down..."
After that party, I had another gig to go to. I've done 2 charity events so far, but this gig in particular, was a paid gig. Well, the promotor (J.) had promised me payment before I even hit the turntables... I guess around town, he has a reputation of promising payment to his DJs, but not delivering. Hmmm... I was never one to pass judgement, although I had to hunt him down @ the last party I spun at (for him). And I do mean HUNT... I waited around until 6 in the morning for my fee -- it was not pretty... It was for THIS REASON, he promised to pay me BEFORE I spun any records.
I arrived at the Labrynth, nearly 30 minutes before my scheduled set. I asked around for J., no one could find him. It turned out the he was playing at the same time I was, only on a different floor. He left me a message to see him AFTER my set, and he'd take care of me. SOOOOO, like a professional, I played my scheduled set.
The venue wasn't packed on this particular night, but something in the air made everything cool... Everyone was feeling my deep house vibes, and again... I played Ms. Brown... Something told me that I HAD to play it.. This time, I noticed a black man standing in front of the DJ booth, as if he had the Holy Ghost... He hung onto every word from Ms. Brown... So did I. I closed my eyes, lifted my hands to the sky, and let her words consume me. I didn't care WHO was watching... But then again, everyone was watching.. And they understood. They felt me. They felt Ms. Brown. And it sounded like a black Baptist church up in there!!!
When my set was over, I ran into a friend of mine (my Girl, ASHLEY!)... She said to me, "there's a guy here who just lost his mother 2 nights ago... and he's HERE now... and YOU touched him with your music." (I'm paraphrasing, but the point was, he just lost his mom... I touched him with my music.. and somehow got him to take his mind off of things for a minute, and just DANCE...) I told her to FIND this friend of hers, and bring him to me. I HAD to meet him. I sat down at a table, and when she arrived, she brought this SAME BLACK MAN that I saw on the dance floor! Wow!
I immediately said to him, "Look... I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I just lost MY mom too... And it doesn't get easy at all, trust me! But hey... if you need ANYBODY to talk to, at ANY TIME -- and you will, believe me... Call ME. I'm HERE. I PROMISE... " And I gave him my card, and a huge hug. We cried together for a second, as I held his head in my arms. I swear, I couldn't have planned a deeper connection that night... THIS meant more to me than worrying about J., the promoter-- who still hadn't paid me.
After the guy and I talked (I still can't remember his name, just his face and his spirit), I made my way around the dance floor. I shook some hands, gave some hugs, have a few good laughs... And then I sat back down. Someone approached me and told me that the venue didn't make enough money, BUT... they would make arrangements to pay me my fee later on in the week -- I don't remember what else he said, because at that point, I tuned him out. He gave me his e-mail address, and I politely told him that it was no problem. We could settle this later. I wasn't gonna let this issue spoil my night. So on that note, I left. I went home, feeling BOTH like I was on top of the worlld (because i KNOW I helped somebody!) and like a piece of shit (because I KNOW I got shafted for my fee -- and THIS time, I NEEDED it!)...
While I won't go into what else happened this night, because believe me, THIS is enough for one blog; let's just say that I'm a damn good friend. Those who choose not to recognize it are blind... Those who take advantage of it are CRUEL... But here's the killer part: I'm stronger than that. Really, I am. Shit. I'm TOO strong of an individual to let other people's actions get the best of me. (sometimes!!!) But today, it's a strong day. And I realize that NOBODY can do anything to me that I DO NOT ALLOW them to do. If you take advantage of me, I ALLOW YOU. If you use me for my money, etc., I can't bitch about it, because I'm ALLOWING this to happen. I could easily be a dick. I could easily say NO... But in the interest of caring for others (my so-called friends), I rarely, if ever, say no -- even if it hurts me. And in the end, it usually does...
It stems from that attitude, "if I give him (them) what HE needs/wants, he'll give ME what I need/want." Sounds simple, eh? YES it does! But 9 times out of 10, I'm the one who DOESN'T get what I want. And over the years, you'd think I'd be some sick, jaded bitch because of it. But I'm not. Oh well... That's what I write songs for. lol!
That's it for now. Do leave your thoughts. Better yet, I'd appreiate if you just stopped by to say hello.
Love on u...
Aaron-Carl
I DJed at around 7:30 pm... Of course, folks were dancing and loving the tunes. I dug DEEP into the crates (yes, VINYL, bitches!) and pulled out some GEMS. I'm talking Ken Collier days... It was wonderful, and folks were feeling it. The spirit called me, and I had to play Jocelyn Brown's "It's Alright, I Feel It!" Sometimes you just need to hear a word of encouragement. Lord, I NEEDED it... And when the music broke down, and Ms. Brown started to testify, baby... It was total church up in there -- at least it was for me. I'd like to say that my set was the peak of the night, but it wasn't... I was only paving the way... Ms. COREY -- I know her from somewhere!!! Ms. COREY politely asked me if she could play a couple of records... I said SURE. I am certainly not one to hog the decks, and I was curious to hear she she had to offer... BABY, she got on those decks and turned it OUT... I mean, the floor was PACKED PACKED PACKED!!! And she worked those EQs like she OWNED them. I stepped back... "oh shit..." This woman -- this beautiful woman, let us HAVE IT!!! Do you hear me? She "beat those bitches down..."
After that party, I had another gig to go to. I've done 2 charity events so far, but this gig in particular, was a paid gig. Well, the promotor (J.) had promised me payment before I even hit the turntables... I guess around town, he has a reputation of promising payment to his DJs, but not delivering. Hmmm... I was never one to pass judgement, although I had to hunt him down @ the last party I spun at (for him). And I do mean HUNT... I waited around until 6 in the morning for my fee -- it was not pretty... It was for THIS REASON, he promised to pay me BEFORE I spun any records.
I arrived at the Labrynth, nearly 30 minutes before my scheduled set. I asked around for J., no one could find him. It turned out the he was playing at the same time I was, only on a different floor. He left me a message to see him AFTER my set, and he'd take care of me. SOOOOO, like a professional, I played my scheduled set.
The venue wasn't packed on this particular night, but something in the air made everything cool... Everyone was feeling my deep house vibes, and again... I played Ms. Brown... Something told me that I HAD to play it.. This time, I noticed a black man standing in front of the DJ booth, as if he had the Holy Ghost... He hung onto every word from Ms. Brown... So did I. I closed my eyes, lifted my hands to the sky, and let her words consume me. I didn't care WHO was watching... But then again, everyone was watching.. And they understood. They felt me. They felt Ms. Brown. And it sounded like a black Baptist church up in there!!!
When my set was over, I ran into a friend of mine (my Girl, ASHLEY!)... She said to me, "there's a guy here who just lost his mother 2 nights ago... and he's HERE now... and YOU touched him with your music." (I'm paraphrasing, but the point was, he just lost his mom... I touched him with my music.. and somehow got him to take his mind off of things for a minute, and just DANCE...) I told her to FIND this friend of hers, and bring him to me. I HAD to meet him. I sat down at a table, and when she arrived, she brought this SAME BLACK MAN that I saw on the dance floor! Wow!
I immediately said to him, "Look... I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I just lost MY mom too... And it doesn't get easy at all, trust me! But hey... if you need ANYBODY to talk to, at ANY TIME -- and you will, believe me... Call ME. I'm HERE. I PROMISE... " And I gave him my card, and a huge hug. We cried together for a second, as I held his head in my arms. I swear, I couldn't have planned a deeper connection that night... THIS meant more to me than worrying about J., the promoter-- who still hadn't paid me.
After the guy and I talked (I still can't remember his name, just his face and his spirit), I made my way around the dance floor. I shook some hands, gave some hugs, have a few good laughs... And then I sat back down. Someone approached me and told me that the venue didn't make enough money, BUT... they would make arrangements to pay me my fee later on in the week -- I don't remember what else he said, because at that point, I tuned him out. He gave me his e-mail address, and I politely told him that it was no problem. We could settle this later. I wasn't gonna let this issue spoil my night. So on that note, I left. I went home, feeling BOTH like I was on top of the worlld (because i KNOW I helped somebody!) and like a piece of shit (because I KNOW I got shafted for my fee -- and THIS time, I NEEDED it!)...
While I won't go into what else happened this night, because believe me, THIS is enough for one blog; let's just say that I'm a damn good friend. Those who choose not to recognize it are blind... Those who take advantage of it are CRUEL... But here's the killer part: I'm stronger than that. Really, I am. Shit. I'm TOO strong of an individual to let other people's actions get the best of me. (sometimes!!!) But today, it's a strong day. And I realize that NOBODY can do anything to me that I DO NOT ALLOW them to do. If you take advantage of me, I ALLOW YOU. If you use me for my money, etc., I can't bitch about it, because I'm ALLOWING this to happen. I could easily be a dick. I could easily say NO... But in the interest of caring for others (my so-called friends), I rarely, if ever, say no -- even if it hurts me. And in the end, it usually does...
It stems from that attitude, "if I give him (them) what HE needs/wants, he'll give ME what I need/want." Sounds simple, eh? YES it does! But 9 times out of 10, I'm the one who DOESN'T get what I want. And over the years, you'd think I'd be some sick, jaded bitch because of it. But I'm not. Oh well... That's what I write songs for. lol!
That's it for now. Do leave your thoughts. Better yet, I'd appreiate if you just stopped by to say hello.
Love on u...
Aaron-Carl
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Resurrection
First, let me apologize for not writing sooner. As you may have guessed, lots of things have been on the horizon. I've had to overcome some personal struggles in my life -- losing (what I thought was) a (never-ending) friendship was very hard for me to deal with. After a bitter, ugly breakup of sorts, somebody had the nerve to CHALLENGE me in a public forum... They told me that if I was TRULY a good person; one who was truly sorry for my role in our friendship's demise, then I would make a public apology on the forum -- for ALL to see. So what did I do? I accepted the challenge. I swallowed a whole lot of pride, that's for sure. But I got up there, in that public forum, and I did the hardest thing I've ever had to do. (www.detroitluv.com was the forum -- if you check the "Dear Whitey" section, you'll see it for yourself.)
The experience was both liberating and painful. I felt like a HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders. Even in the apology, I stated that I didn't expect anything from him. I meant that, but at the same time, I'd HATE to be out there hanging, while he just says "whatever, Aaron... fuck off..." Or something to that effect. It's painful because ever since this public apology, I've been expecting a phone call -- an email, SOMETHING from him acknowledging my efforts. To date, nothing. And I guess that's my answer in itself.
Yes, it's easy to go along with my other friends, and sport that "fuck him" attitude. But when the lights go down, and nobody's around, I still remember what used to be between him and me... And NOBODY can get me over that except ME. I remember the good times -- the times we were the closest to each other; the way we were when nobody else was around... And yes, I've even learned to forgive him for HIS issues...
I heard he tried to defend me recently, while someone else (a hater) was talking shit about me, to a friend of ours. But you know, as of today, my apology still goes unaccepted. He's hurting, I'm sure. So am I.
With all this being said, now you know why I haven't really been around. It's more than just this incident, of course. As for the biggest emotional roller coaster I've had in a long time, this would be it. But I'm alive. And to quote the new song of my life, "my good days outweigh my bad days... I won't complain."
MUSICALLY, it's been quite a journey! I've taken some time to fully work on my new album. I've got some House songs written, of course... I have some ghetto-tech/electro songs written, of course... Then I have some CRAZY, off-the-wall shit that will probably make people go WHAT?!
When I wrote "Uncloseted," I literally wrote and recorded a song every day, until it was finished. I took a bit more time with "Detrevolution," but NOW, I feel like I'm have a creative storm (no pun intended) again... Every day, I have new ideas that could turn into some awesome songs. ALSO, I'm finally taking the plunge... I'm officially going to reconstruct and re-record a few of my older songs, because it's time... It's time to breathe NEW life into these tunes. Have you ever said "if I only knew THEN what I know NOW?" That's exactly what I'm doing...
And before you ask me WHICH songs I plan to re-do, I'll say this... Rumor has it that I'm re-doing "Wash It."... I won't confirm or deny that. I'll simply tell you this... Certain songs from THAT ERA will be given a new life. I want it to be a surprise for you... (What?! I'm a Leo, baby! I LOVE to tease! But just remember, I ALWAYS come through...)
OOOH... I WILL ask you this, though... WHAT should I name this new album? I've had a few working titles in mind, among the best being "Soul Graffiti." BUT after doing extensive research, I've discovered that there are books AND PEOPLE with "Soul Graffiti" as their name. Mind you, nobody has an ALBUM with that title, but nope... I wanna be original. "Uncloseted" was not a word, obviously -- not until I made it one... "Detrevolution" was just fucking awesome. I loved everything about that word -- what it meant to me, how it sounded, how it LOOKED on an album cover... But I digress. Oh yeah, and I can't forget about my VERY FIRST album, "STORM" -- which wasn't really talking about thunder and rain... It was an acronym... Somewhere There's One Right Man. (You didn't know that, did you?)
Well, that's it for now. If you have any ideas for a nice title, toss them my way. In the meantime, keep your ears open -- I am still out there spreading the sound. You'll be hearing some new music from me very soon. Promise...
Love Always,
Aaron-Carl
The experience was both liberating and painful. I felt like a HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders. Even in the apology, I stated that I didn't expect anything from him. I meant that, but at the same time, I'd HATE to be out there hanging, while he just says "whatever, Aaron... fuck off..." Or something to that effect. It's painful because ever since this public apology, I've been expecting a phone call -- an email, SOMETHING from him acknowledging my efforts. To date, nothing. And I guess that's my answer in itself.
Yes, it's easy to go along with my other friends, and sport that "fuck him" attitude. But when the lights go down, and nobody's around, I still remember what used to be between him and me... And NOBODY can get me over that except ME. I remember the good times -- the times we were the closest to each other; the way we were when nobody else was around... And yes, I've even learned to forgive him for HIS issues...
I heard he tried to defend me recently, while someone else (a hater) was talking shit about me, to a friend of ours. But you know, as of today, my apology still goes unaccepted. He's hurting, I'm sure. So am I.
With all this being said, now you know why I haven't really been around. It's more than just this incident, of course. As for the biggest emotional roller coaster I've had in a long time, this would be it. But I'm alive. And to quote the new song of my life, "my good days outweigh my bad days... I won't complain."
MUSICALLY, it's been quite a journey! I've taken some time to fully work on my new album. I've got some House songs written, of course... I have some ghetto-tech/electro songs written, of course... Then I have some CRAZY, off-the-wall shit that will probably make people go WHAT?!
When I wrote "Uncloseted," I literally wrote and recorded a song every day, until it was finished. I took a bit more time with "Detrevolution," but NOW, I feel like I'm have a creative storm (no pun intended) again... Every day, I have new ideas that could turn into some awesome songs. ALSO, I'm finally taking the plunge... I'm officially going to reconstruct and re-record a few of my older songs, because it's time... It's time to breathe NEW life into these tunes. Have you ever said "if I only knew THEN what I know NOW?" That's exactly what I'm doing...
And before you ask me WHICH songs I plan to re-do, I'll say this... Rumor has it that I'm re-doing "Wash It."... I won't confirm or deny that. I'll simply tell you this... Certain songs from THAT ERA will be given a new life. I want it to be a surprise for you... (What?! I'm a Leo, baby! I LOVE to tease! But just remember, I ALWAYS come through...)
OOOH... I WILL ask you this, though... WHAT should I name this new album? I've had a few working titles in mind, among the best being "Soul Graffiti." BUT after doing extensive research, I've discovered that there are books AND PEOPLE with "Soul Graffiti" as their name. Mind you, nobody has an ALBUM with that title, but nope... I wanna be original. "Uncloseted" was not a word, obviously -- not until I made it one... "Detrevolution" was just fucking awesome. I loved everything about that word -- what it meant to me, how it sounded, how it LOOKED on an album cover... But I digress. Oh yeah, and I can't forget about my VERY FIRST album, "STORM" -- which wasn't really talking about thunder and rain... It was an acronym... Somewhere There's One Right Man. (You didn't know that, did you?)
Well, that's it for now. If you have any ideas for a nice title, toss them my way. In the meantime, keep your ears open -- I am still out there spreading the sound. You'll be hearing some new music from me very soon. Promise...
Love Always,
Aaron-Carl
Saturday, June 30, 2007
For U
Thank u for admiring my uniqueness.
It isn’t easy to understand me at times…
While strong and confident, occasionally I’m insecure.
And this insecurity sometimes makes me blind…
Thank u for acknowledging my maturity,
But while I’m grown, I’m still like a child.
Sometimes I’m cool like a summer breeze.
Every now and then, I’m an inferno gone wild.
Thank u for letting me live and learn.
While I’m not always right, I’m not always wrong.
Thank u for knowing that I’m not perfect.
Thank u for loving me, in spite of my flaws.
Thank u for not losing sight of the goodness
I carry inside…
Thank u for showing me that I’m still worthy.
Thank u for not leaving me during the worst of times.
Love Always,
Aaron-Carl
It isn’t easy to understand me at times…
While strong and confident, occasionally I’m insecure.
And this insecurity sometimes makes me blind…
Thank u for acknowledging my maturity,
But while I’m grown, I’m still like a child.
Sometimes I’m cool like a summer breeze.
Every now and then, I’m an inferno gone wild.
Thank u for letting me live and learn.
While I’m not always right, I’m not always wrong.
Thank u for knowing that I’m not perfect.
Thank u for loving me, in spite of my flaws.
Thank u for not losing sight of the goodness
I carry inside…
Thank u for showing me that I’m still worthy.
Thank u for not leaving me during the worst of times.
Love Always,
Aaron-Carl
Monday, June 18, 2007
Emerge - A Detroit House + Techno Alliance = Success!
To everyone who helped make EMERGE a very successful party last Saturday night, I sincerely and most humbly thank YOU!!!
The guys @ Sonic Synergy hooked up the sound for upstairs, and it was BANGIN'! You definitely gave the folks downstairs a run for our money. Timika and the Electronic Music Tour team -- I cannot thank you guys enough. The food was awesome -- those Swedish meatballs? OMG! The VIP room itself was very nice. I swear we need one of those, EVERYWHERE we go.
DJ Seoul: Even with that big-ass monitor blaring in your ear, you managed to pull off a very nice set. Thank you for sticking around and helping to spread the love. (I saw you out there dancing during Veronique's live set!)
Jeff Comer -- I'm just glad you were THERE, even though you didn't have to play much. Still your presence was much appreciated.
DJ E. Dubb and Chris (Deaken): Y'all tore that shit up. You guys made me proud. (Wallshaker in the HOUSE!)
Benji Hayes and Jay Langa -- WHO was that girl standing in front of the DJ booth, dancing with her boobs out? You two were like Beavis and Butthead: "he he heheh.. Bewbs!!" But you rocked out, and I'm GLAD you got to see how your performance inspired some folks! LOL...
For those who saw DJ Surgeon's live set. Wasn't it off the chain? OH MAN, that man can work those turntables. It was kinda hard to dance during that set because I couldn't keep my eyes off the turntables! Surgeon, you let them HAVE it. And you didn't let up. And that CD of yours is definitely a killer.
...and VERONIQUE -- dayum, that woman can SING! She started her set with a cover version of Chaka Khan's "Ain't Nobody" -- completely housed up and reworked by yours truly, thank you. (An yes, that was me singing background...) I kid you not. Veronique sang, and souls were moved. Especially when "Use Me" came on... It was over. She took us back to CHURCH! I couldn't help screaming and shouting during that song -- which is why I lost my damn voice again, but it was worth it! I DJed for the rest of that hour. We all had fun.
Posatronix and Di'Jital... OMG. I was certainly NOT disappointed by their live set whatsoever. I kept running back and forth between upstairs and downstairs because DJ Revolt was upstairs KILLING IT - wasn't he? I'm so used to hearing Revolt spin "early" sets, but Lord, Jesus... The energy that man was bringing to the crowd -- it resonated throughout the building! So THAT, at the same time as Posatronix and Di'Jital's live set? Whoo, did I get a workout THAT hour!
And finally, the sweet sounds of Mike Huckaby. Damn, that man spun some soulful house! He was the perfect choice to bring the house down, because he grabbed you from the first record, and did NOT let go. We were gonna close down at 4 a.m., but he kept on rocking it. Folks were STILL paying to get in @ 4 a.m.... That was crazy! At the same time, upstairs -- in a completely different world, ANOTHER crowd was jumping...
DJ Erelevent banged out some hard techno for your ASSES, baby! And like Mike, he kept it going till WAY after 4... When we finally ended the night, I swear those turntables were on fire. (And hey, Erelevent... Those were MY Technics you were working to death, Mister! LOL)Overall, it was a very peaceful, FUN, outrageous night.
YOU ALL made this party a success, and I thank ALL of you for coming down and supporting it. And knowing full well there's NO "I" in "team," I know I couldn't have done it without the IMMEASURABLE help and support of CRATESAVERS. My new brothers (and sisters), words can't express how grateful and thankful I am. If this party was ANY indicator of what we can do when we join forces (House + Techno), then DETROIT will be back on the map in a BIG way!
Love and much respect, y'all! Pics are up on my MySpace page, so enjoy...
Sincerely,
Aaron-Carl
The guys @ Sonic Synergy hooked up the sound for upstairs, and it was BANGIN'! You definitely gave the folks downstairs a run for our money. Timika and the Electronic Music Tour team -- I cannot thank you guys enough. The food was awesome -- those Swedish meatballs? OMG! The VIP room itself was very nice. I swear we need one of those, EVERYWHERE we go.
DJ Seoul: Even with that big-ass monitor blaring in your ear, you managed to pull off a very nice set. Thank you for sticking around and helping to spread the love. (I saw you out there dancing during Veronique's live set!)
Jeff Comer -- I'm just glad you were THERE, even though you didn't have to play much. Still your presence was much appreciated.
DJ E. Dubb and Chris (Deaken): Y'all tore that shit up. You guys made me proud. (Wallshaker in the HOUSE!)
Benji Hayes and Jay Langa -- WHO was that girl standing in front of the DJ booth, dancing with her boobs out? You two were like Beavis and Butthead: "he he heheh.. Bewbs!!" But you rocked out, and I'm GLAD you got to see how your performance inspired some folks! LOL...
For those who saw DJ Surgeon's live set. Wasn't it off the chain? OH MAN, that man can work those turntables. It was kinda hard to dance during that set because I couldn't keep my eyes off the turntables! Surgeon, you let them HAVE it. And you didn't let up. And that CD of yours is definitely a killer.
...and VERONIQUE -- dayum, that woman can SING! She started her set with a cover version of Chaka Khan's "Ain't Nobody" -- completely housed up and reworked by yours truly, thank you. (An yes, that was me singing background...) I kid you not. Veronique sang, and souls were moved. Especially when "Use Me" came on... It was over. She took us back to CHURCH! I couldn't help screaming and shouting during that song -- which is why I lost my damn voice again, but it was worth it! I DJed for the rest of that hour. We all had fun.
Posatronix and Di'Jital... OMG. I was certainly NOT disappointed by their live set whatsoever. I kept running back and forth between upstairs and downstairs because DJ Revolt was upstairs KILLING IT - wasn't he? I'm so used to hearing Revolt spin "early" sets, but Lord, Jesus... The energy that man was bringing to the crowd -- it resonated throughout the building! So THAT, at the same time as Posatronix and Di'Jital's live set? Whoo, did I get a workout THAT hour!
And finally, the sweet sounds of Mike Huckaby. Damn, that man spun some soulful house! He was the perfect choice to bring the house down, because he grabbed you from the first record, and did NOT let go. We were gonna close down at 4 a.m., but he kept on rocking it. Folks were STILL paying to get in @ 4 a.m.... That was crazy! At the same time, upstairs -- in a completely different world, ANOTHER crowd was jumping...
DJ Erelevent banged out some hard techno for your ASSES, baby! And like Mike, he kept it going till WAY after 4... When we finally ended the night, I swear those turntables were on fire. (And hey, Erelevent... Those were MY Technics you were working to death, Mister! LOL)Overall, it was a very peaceful, FUN, outrageous night.
YOU ALL made this party a success, and I thank ALL of you for coming down and supporting it. And knowing full well there's NO "I" in "team," I know I couldn't have done it without the IMMEASURABLE help and support of CRATESAVERS. My new brothers (and sisters), words can't express how grateful and thankful I am. If this party was ANY indicator of what we can do when we join forces (House + Techno), then DETROIT will be back on the map in a BIG way!
Love and much respect, y'all! Pics are up on my MySpace page, so enjoy...
Sincerely,
Aaron-Carl
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Like an Adult
...So I just received a threatening telephone call from Todd, who says"You better watch your back," in regards to my recent blog. Mind you, he didn't say it directly to me. He said to Mel, who answered the phone. When Mel relayed the message to me, my FIRST reaction was to call him back and curse... But like an adult, I didn't. I kept my cool. Not 5 minutes later, I get a phone call from Erick (E. Dubb). Todd also called and left a message on his (father's) cell phone... "I don't know who to call, but I'm a bit worried about Erick -- he's smoking crack or whatever!" Erick was devastated when he called me... I had to remind Erick of some things, and it is for THIS reason I'm writing this blog... Because THIS is a testament. God is good all the time, let me first say... I repeat. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. And it is BECAUSE of GOD that I am able to understand and acknowledge this situation for what it is...
I deleted the last part of my blog (in which I described the demise of Todd's and my friendship). I didn't delete it because of Todd's threatening phone call. I am in NO WAY, SHAPE or FORM afraid of him. My blog was in no way malicious or slanderous. I spoke the truth -- and not just from MY side of the story... I stepped outside of myself and spoke the ACTUAL truth. Everybody knows there's two sides to every story. I pride myself in not being dumb enough to tell a one-sided story. Our friendship ended over something stupid, yes... But we were BOTH at fault. I acted pretty childish at times during our friendship. So did he. And unfortunately, that childishness ended what I thought was an unbreakable bond.
But I said it earlier, and I'm saying it now. I'm not going out of my way to be his enemy. I don't tarnish his name in the streets. When he left Wallshaker, he left. Okay... I've moved on. So to get a phone call like the one I received this afternoon, it only tells me that TODD is the one with the problem.
I just spoke to Erick on the phone. I reminded him of just how proud I am of him. He HAS come a long way since we met. When I met Erick, he DID have a problem with drugs -- crack in particular. He was on probation, without his G.E.D., and didn't really have much of a future ahead of him at all. But I took a chance on him. I BELIEVED in him. And by the grace of God, Erick has completely turned himself around. He's sober, off probation, he has his G.E.D., and he's got a VERY bright future ahead of him. If being on Wallshaker (or having a friendship with me) has allowed Erick to change his life for the better, let this be a testament! Again, I'm PROUD of him. And I'm thankful to God that I have the opportunity to BETTER someone's life and make their dreams come true.
Todd wrote a response to the blog I deleted, and he asked me "Is it lonely where you are?" My honest answer is NO, it is NOT lonely where I am. I've made some real connections in my life. I connect with people through my music. I connect through my words. I connect through my personality. And when someone tells me that my blog, or my song, or my attitude inspires them and helps change their life, I KNOW I'm doing something right.
He also made it a point to note the bad qualities about my personality. He noted how jealous I was when I became insecure -- something I have never denied. And yes, I've done some crazy "ghettofied" things because I sought attention from Todd. I've since apologized for those actions, and from what I thought, the matter was over. Apparantly not, since he brought it back up in recent conversaton -- something he promised me he would never do. He was so afraid of me doing these things again, he purposely hid his relationship (with his gf) from me. Well, that's not my fault that he wasn't confident enough in my ability to handle the situation like an adult.
I've learned LONG AGO that when you're doing GOOD, that's when the devil gets busy. Right now, the devil is CRAZY BUSY! So again, I thank God for allowing me to see through it. Instead of trying to reason with the devil, I just turned and walked away. Instead of trying to argue a moot point with Todd, I just simply deleted the blog entry. Instead of trying to figure out who's better or worse, I'll simply let me works speak for me.
I've told you the good that Wallshaker has done so far -- Erick is a shining example. My merge with Cratesavers, as well as the deal I just landed with the Chicago licensing house -- I'd say that the blessings are in abundance right now. And trust me when I say, I know this is bigger than me. God has HIS hands in my life right now.
I was warned.. in so many words, "be careful who you meet on your way up, because you'll see them on your way back down..." You're absolutely right. And I cannot wait. I'm well aware that what goes up MUST come down sometime. And believe me, I DO have my "down" moments. The people who I'm meeting on the way "up," I adore and appreciate. When I met Todd, maybe my eyes weren't as open as I thought they were. But when our friendship ended, I wasn't like "fuck Todd." I was like "Lord, what can I do to become a better person?" And if it's too late to mend things with Todd, then at least I'll be better for the NEXT friend.
I'm not worried about the haters... When you hate on me, I KNOW it's because I'm doing something right. And when you try to destroy what God is building, you will fail EVERY TIME. ...which brings me back to this blog. I didn't have to delete a damn thing I wrote. It was in no way slanderous, one-sided or untrue. But obviously, the truth was enough to rile him up so badly, he'd call my house and make threats against me? I better watch MY back? I'll do you one better... I'll let GOD continue to watch my back. The fact that Todd took time to even respond to my blog, explain "his side" of things, or whatever it was he thought he was doing -- it shows me that HE'S in an angry place. And speaking of malicious, that was pretty low what he tried to do to Erick -- exposing his past to the world like that. But like I told Erick today, don't be ashamed! BE PROUD!! Yes, you smoked crack. YES, you were a danger to yourself and others around you (even me) at one point and time... But look at you NOW. You SURVIVED it! You BETTER be proud of the fact that you ROSE ABOVE that bullshit. And NO, it's nobody else's business. But if word ever got out there, then hey... OWN IT. WEAR IT like a badge of honor. Because you are in a MUCH better place now. You can hold your head up high, and earn your respect. Thank GOD. Your mother and father are proud of you now... The changes you've made in your life are evident. And as you continue to grow, and your life continues to flourish, you'll earn even MORE respect. YOU are the perfect example of what can happen when you let God put HIS hand in your life. YOU are living proof, Erick. Be proud of that.
On that note, I'll end this blog. I was angry when I sat down to write this, but now I have a big smile on my face. I love my label, and I'm thankful for the good it has done people so far. My job is far from over...
Love on u...
AC
I deleted the last part of my blog (in which I described the demise of Todd's and my friendship). I didn't delete it because of Todd's threatening phone call. I am in NO WAY, SHAPE or FORM afraid of him. My blog was in no way malicious or slanderous. I spoke the truth -- and not just from MY side of the story... I stepped outside of myself and spoke the ACTUAL truth. Everybody knows there's two sides to every story. I pride myself in not being dumb enough to tell a one-sided story. Our friendship ended over something stupid, yes... But we were BOTH at fault. I acted pretty childish at times during our friendship. So did he. And unfortunately, that childishness ended what I thought was an unbreakable bond.
But I said it earlier, and I'm saying it now. I'm not going out of my way to be his enemy. I don't tarnish his name in the streets. When he left Wallshaker, he left. Okay... I've moved on. So to get a phone call like the one I received this afternoon, it only tells me that TODD is the one with the problem.
I just spoke to Erick on the phone. I reminded him of just how proud I am of him. He HAS come a long way since we met. When I met Erick, he DID have a problem with drugs -- crack in particular. He was on probation, without his G.E.D., and didn't really have much of a future ahead of him at all. But I took a chance on him. I BELIEVED in him. And by the grace of God, Erick has completely turned himself around. He's sober, off probation, he has his G.E.D., and he's got a VERY bright future ahead of him. If being on Wallshaker (or having a friendship with me) has allowed Erick to change his life for the better, let this be a testament! Again, I'm PROUD of him. And I'm thankful to God that I have the opportunity to BETTER someone's life and make their dreams come true.
Todd wrote a response to the blog I deleted, and he asked me "Is it lonely where you are?" My honest answer is NO, it is NOT lonely where I am. I've made some real connections in my life. I connect with people through my music. I connect through my words. I connect through my personality. And when someone tells me that my blog, or my song, or my attitude inspires them and helps change their life, I KNOW I'm doing something right.
He also made it a point to note the bad qualities about my personality. He noted how jealous I was when I became insecure -- something I have never denied. And yes, I've done some crazy "ghettofied" things because I sought attention from Todd. I've since apologized for those actions, and from what I thought, the matter was over. Apparantly not, since he brought it back up in recent conversaton -- something he promised me he would never do. He was so afraid of me doing these things again, he purposely hid his relationship (with his gf) from me. Well, that's not my fault that he wasn't confident enough in my ability to handle the situation like an adult.
I've learned LONG AGO that when you're doing GOOD, that's when the devil gets busy. Right now, the devil is CRAZY BUSY! So again, I thank God for allowing me to see through it. Instead of trying to reason with the devil, I just turned and walked away. Instead of trying to argue a moot point with Todd, I just simply deleted the blog entry. Instead of trying to figure out who's better or worse, I'll simply let me works speak for me.
I've told you the good that Wallshaker has done so far -- Erick is a shining example. My merge with Cratesavers, as well as the deal I just landed with the Chicago licensing house -- I'd say that the blessings are in abundance right now. And trust me when I say, I know this is bigger than me. God has HIS hands in my life right now.
I was warned.. in so many words, "be careful who you meet on your way up, because you'll see them on your way back down..." You're absolutely right. And I cannot wait. I'm well aware that what goes up MUST come down sometime. And believe me, I DO have my "down" moments. The people who I'm meeting on the way "up," I adore and appreciate. When I met Todd, maybe my eyes weren't as open as I thought they were. But when our friendship ended, I wasn't like "fuck Todd." I was like "Lord, what can I do to become a better person?" And if it's too late to mend things with Todd, then at least I'll be better for the NEXT friend.
I'm not worried about the haters... When you hate on me, I KNOW it's because I'm doing something right. And when you try to destroy what God is building, you will fail EVERY TIME. ...which brings me back to this blog. I didn't have to delete a damn thing I wrote. It was in no way slanderous, one-sided or untrue. But obviously, the truth was enough to rile him up so badly, he'd call my house and make threats against me? I better watch MY back? I'll do you one better... I'll let GOD continue to watch my back. The fact that Todd took time to even respond to my blog, explain "his side" of things, or whatever it was he thought he was doing -- it shows me that HE'S in an angry place. And speaking of malicious, that was pretty low what he tried to do to Erick -- exposing his past to the world like that. But like I told Erick today, don't be ashamed! BE PROUD!! Yes, you smoked crack. YES, you were a danger to yourself and others around you (even me) at one point and time... But look at you NOW. You SURVIVED it! You BETTER be proud of the fact that you ROSE ABOVE that bullshit. And NO, it's nobody else's business. But if word ever got out there, then hey... OWN IT. WEAR IT like a badge of honor. Because you are in a MUCH better place now. You can hold your head up high, and earn your respect. Thank GOD. Your mother and father are proud of you now... The changes you've made in your life are evident. And as you continue to grow, and your life continues to flourish, you'll earn even MORE respect. YOU are the perfect example of what can happen when you let God put HIS hand in your life. YOU are living proof, Erick. Be proud of that.
On that note, I'll end this blog. I was angry when I sat down to write this, but now I have a big smile on my face. I love my label, and I'm thankful for the good it has done people so far. My job is far from over...
Love on u...
AC
feelings...
I've made some wonderful remixes lately... A song called "Individual" by Yolanda Johnson -- it's the theme song to a BET late-night special program I can't remember the name to... But I didn't know this until AFTER I remixed the song. They LOVE the mix, and plan to use it. THAT made me feel very good. Now I've been invited to remix a song called "If We Were Alone" by an R&B singer named Keite Young. God has blessed me with this talent, so I'm thankful that I'm able to USE it. And I'm even more thankful that my works are appreciated, and all this hard work is paying off...
I haven't started on MY album yet, because I've been so busy producing for other people. I admit, it's been a lot of fun. I've been building my label roster up, and I just signed an exclusive digital distribution deal with Groovesource -- a licensing house based in Chicago. Careerwise, I'm doing GREAT. Thank God for that! Otherwise, I'd be totally crazy.
Wallshaker is having another party next week -- and I'm nervous as all hell... Well, maybe nervous isn't the best word. ANXIOUS is more like it. It started out as a Wallshaker showcase party, which quickly grew into something phenomenal. Thanks to Cratesavers, a simple Wallshaker showcase party turned into "Emerge: A Detroit House/Techno Alliance." And YES, I'm calling it EMERGE for a reason - guess why... LOL! But I'm doing this party up BIG.. A vip area with catered food, merchandise, 3 live performances throughout the night -- yes, it's gonna be huge. And the people here in Detroit can't wait to attend!
I invited one of my fans to come down -- little does he know he's going to be my date for the evening. LOL... Many of you might take this for granted, but believe me... There's NOTHING better than a kiss. Nothing better than a reassuring sensual confirmation that YES, you are someone special; you ARE someone worthy... I miss dating... I miss that feeling of "oooh, I can't WAIT to get closer to him!"
Then I glance over in the mirror and watch myself type. Today isn't such a good day... I don't feel so attractive. I need a damn haircut, and I swear I'm calling "Jenny Craig" or "Richard Simmons" or some damn body for a weight loss solution... I've been "big" for a few years now -- but not THAT damn long... I'm still not used to it. But I know that this is how everyone else sees me... The folks who know me NOW, didn't know the "skinny" Boogie... They didn't know the ME who was a lot more confident.
Am I saying that thin is beautiful??? Well, maybe I am. But I'm not stupid enough to say that BIG folks aren't worthy of love... In fact, when I WAS that little skinny bitch, I LOVED big folks. I still do But it's not easy to ignore all the magazines and movies, where everyone is "beautiful" and buff, toned, fit and ultimately happy. Mind you, I've NEVER had a problem with my face -- i LOVE my face... My mother and father were both two attractive individuals, and I'm SO glad that I have the "looks" that I have. Even my asymmetrical eyes... I LOVE them. Denzel Washington also has asymmetrical eyes, and he's a damn sex symbol.
But i digress... It hurts me to starve myself. And instead of bitching about it, I guess I just need to get some damn discipline and do something about my weight. But it's HARD, y'all... It's HARD!!! It's not as easy as they make it look on TV. It's a lot of WORK WORK WORK... and more HARD WORK. I just wish I had a damn jump-start.
Again, digressing... it's after 2 a.m.. I'm dog-tired. And although I'd rather be in the arms of someone who wants to hold me, I'm gonna lay down next to my "old man..." And I'll try not to bitch about it in the morning...
Nite nite, y'all...
AC
I haven't started on MY album yet, because I've been so busy producing for other people. I admit, it's been a lot of fun. I've been building my label roster up, and I just signed an exclusive digital distribution deal with Groovesource -- a licensing house based in Chicago. Careerwise, I'm doing GREAT. Thank God for that! Otherwise, I'd be totally crazy.
Wallshaker is having another party next week -- and I'm nervous as all hell... Well, maybe nervous isn't the best word. ANXIOUS is more like it. It started out as a Wallshaker showcase party, which quickly grew into something phenomenal. Thanks to Cratesavers, a simple Wallshaker showcase party turned into "Emerge: A Detroit House/Techno Alliance." And YES, I'm calling it EMERGE for a reason - guess why... LOL! But I'm doing this party up BIG.. A vip area with catered food, merchandise, 3 live performances throughout the night -- yes, it's gonna be huge. And the people here in Detroit can't wait to attend!
I invited one of my fans to come down -- little does he know he's going to be my date for the evening. LOL... Many of you might take this for granted, but believe me... There's NOTHING better than a kiss. Nothing better than a reassuring sensual confirmation that YES, you are someone special; you ARE someone worthy... I miss dating... I miss that feeling of "oooh, I can't WAIT to get closer to him!"
Then I glance over in the mirror and watch myself type. Today isn't such a good day... I don't feel so attractive. I need a damn haircut, and I swear I'm calling "Jenny Craig" or "Richard Simmons" or some damn body for a weight loss solution... I've been "big" for a few years now -- but not THAT damn long... I'm still not used to it. But I know that this is how everyone else sees me... The folks who know me NOW, didn't know the "skinny" Boogie... They didn't know the ME who was a lot more confident.
Am I saying that thin is beautiful??? Well, maybe I am. But I'm not stupid enough to say that BIG folks aren't worthy of love... In fact, when I WAS that little skinny bitch, I LOVED big folks. I still do But it's not easy to ignore all the magazines and movies, where everyone is "beautiful" and buff, toned, fit and ultimately happy. Mind you, I've NEVER had a problem with my face -- i LOVE my face... My mother and father were both two attractive individuals, and I'm SO glad that I have the "looks" that I have. Even my asymmetrical eyes... I LOVE them. Denzel Washington also has asymmetrical eyes, and he's a damn sex symbol.
But i digress... It hurts me to starve myself. And instead of bitching about it, I guess I just need to get some damn discipline and do something about my weight. But it's HARD, y'all... It's HARD!!! It's not as easy as they make it look on TV. It's a lot of WORK WORK WORK... and more HARD WORK. I just wish I had a damn jump-start.
Again, digressing... it's after 2 a.m.. I'm dog-tired. And although I'd rather be in the arms of someone who wants to hold me, I'm gonna lay down next to my "old man..." And I'll try not to bitch about it in the morning...
Nite nite, y'all...
AC
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