Geez… All the weight I’ve lost, I’ve gained back. This depression is too much. I think I’m gonna make a doctor’s appointment and have him do something about it. In the meantime, Mel is sleeping on the fucking couch. At least that’s a start. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, please listen to Betty Wright’s “After the Pain.” You’ll know exactly what I’m feeling, and why I just can’t seem to let this stupid muthafucker go… Seriously, listen to it.
Detrevolution is also delayed – but at least it’s only for a week… I spoke to the pressing plant today – there was a small issue with the artwork, and I had to approve the new “proofs” before they could continue. So now, instead of Sept. 30, I’ll have the album finished on Oct. 7th. Personally, I’m okay with it – I’m just SO DAMN TIRED of things being out of my control. And then to announce it on my site – how the hell am I gonna tell my fans? Oh well, I guess they’ll understand. One more week won’t kill me, or them. And trust me. The CD is well worth it.
Well, I guess I’ll be going to bed early tonight – which means, before midnight. Tomorrow morning, I’m starting my workout schedule again. Dana’s coming over to work out with me, and I swear that if she doesn’t bring her ass here, I’m gonna dismiss her. Period.
OMG… I guess that “straight people” aren’t the only crazy people in the world… My old “friend” Marvin (whom I only know from online) and I were chatting tonight. And without thinking, I asked him when he had a free weekend to come up from Ohio to Detroit. When he asked me why, I answered “because I want to see you!” I even offered to pay for the ticket. OMG, he flipped out. He got all weirded out because he thought I had “other” motives… Of course, I had to explain that I meant it in a FRIENDLY way –I was only trying to spend some time with my “friends!” Only THEN did he calm down. “Ohhh, FRIENDS, okay!” What a fucking slap in the face.
Oh well… One look on the bright side: I have 3 Hostess Blueberry Pies sitting in front of me, and I only ate ONE of them!!! The rest I’ll either save for later days, or maybe I’ll just throw them away – or give them to the boys.
See u soon…
AC
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Definition of Love...
My definition of love was 6ft1... broad shoulders,
dark tan, and a nice, big, BIG... …bank account.
Ooh, how I prayed for the day he would enter my life and stay...
Hello, was all he had to say. In his arms I would lay…
Struck by his venom, I danced to his rhythm.
From nightfall until sunrise,
Earthquakes in my thighs,
And like the morning sun, my man would rise…
And he would smile... Damn, he was fine.
As he stared into my eyes, and whispered 2 me...
"We’ve got 2 do this again sometime”...
But before I could speak my mind, he said...
“Hit me up, next time you see me online..."
?!?!?!
And with that, he turned 2 leave
Taking with him, my self esteem...
But in the midst of my tears, something divine
showed me what I desperately needed to find.
What I thought was love was a lie...
The REAL definition of love is inside...
Taken from “Definition of Love,” by Aaron-Carl
Available on the album, DETREVOLUTION.
dark tan, and a nice, big, BIG... …bank account.
Ooh, how I prayed for the day he would enter my life and stay...
Hello, was all he had to say. In his arms I would lay…
Struck by his venom, I danced to his rhythm.
From nightfall until sunrise,
Earthquakes in my thighs,
And like the morning sun, my man would rise…
And he would smile... Damn, he was fine.
As he stared into my eyes, and whispered 2 me...
"We’ve got 2 do this again sometime”...
But before I could speak my mind, he said...
“Hit me up, next time you see me online..."
?!?!?!
And with that, he turned 2 leave
Taking with him, my self esteem...
But in the midst of my tears, something divine
showed me what I desperately needed to find.
What I thought was love was a lie...
The REAL definition of love is inside...
Taken from “Definition of Love,” by Aaron-Carl
Available on the album, DETREVOLUTION.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Grateful...
Today, I’m feeling blessed. My Toulousian friend JIM is celebrating HIS birthday today! As you know, he sent me a wonderful package of goodies (or 2 or 3 or 5….) for my birthday. I promised him I’d surprise him, and I most certainly did. I woke up this morning, wrote and recorded a special birthday song for him! And NO, it wasn’t that cheesy, common-day “Happy Birthday 2 You” song… It’s SILLIER! It invokes the special memories that Jim and I (and Pascal and Emilie) shared while they were here visiting Detroit for the Fuse-In Festival. They stayed for nearly 2 weeks – and as you may or may not know, they spent MOST of that time with ME!
But nonetheless, I’m really feeling happy today. Timmariah and I stayed up until the WEE hours of the night, just talking on the phone about “everything!” First off, I can’t believe I would stay on the phone for THAT long, talking to ANYBODY I wasn’t sleeping with… (Well, besides Julian – but that’s a different story…) I don’t know what it was, last night! I just “let down my guard,” and let myself ENJOY my conversation with Tim. Why exactly do I call him Mariah?! It’s the braids, first of all… Honey, he’ll get to talking, and he would flip those braids! So diva-like. Not to mention an ego the size of Texas! Oh yeah… And he keeps trying to hit those high-ass notes when he sings, against my wishes, of course! Some men can hit those notes and sound good… Others are like WHOA! Don’t go there!!! Tim’s one of those “whoa, don’t go there” folks. But we get along. And one day, “Mariah” just slipped out… And I thought about it… Hmmm… That’s his new pet name! So in a friendly manner (of course), I introduce him to everyone I know as “Mariah Carey.” Tim cracks up laughing. What a sense of humor – even for a straight guy.
So Timmariah is playing saxophone on my CD. We did a fabulous song together, which I think rounds out my album perfectly! But I’ll save that info until AFTER the CD hits.
Right now, I think I’ll take a nap – considering that I’ve only had 4 hours of sleep (Thanks TM! But it was fun!)… Again, I’m feeling real blessed right now. I hope you’re all having a great day as well.
Love on u…
AC
But nonetheless, I’m really feeling happy today. Timmariah and I stayed up until the WEE hours of the night, just talking on the phone about “everything!” First off, I can’t believe I would stay on the phone for THAT long, talking to ANYBODY I wasn’t sleeping with… (Well, besides Julian – but that’s a different story…) I don’t know what it was, last night! I just “let down my guard,” and let myself ENJOY my conversation with Tim. Why exactly do I call him Mariah?! It’s the braids, first of all… Honey, he’ll get to talking, and he would flip those braids! So diva-like. Not to mention an ego the size of Texas! Oh yeah… And he keeps trying to hit those high-ass notes when he sings, against my wishes, of course! Some men can hit those notes and sound good… Others are like WHOA! Don’t go there!!! Tim’s one of those “whoa, don’t go there” folks. But we get along. And one day, “Mariah” just slipped out… And I thought about it… Hmmm… That’s his new pet name! So in a friendly manner (of course), I introduce him to everyone I know as “Mariah Carey.” Tim cracks up laughing. What a sense of humor – even for a straight guy.
So Timmariah is playing saxophone on my CD. We did a fabulous song together, which I think rounds out my album perfectly! But I’ll save that info until AFTER the CD hits.
Right now, I think I’ll take a nap – considering that I’ve only had 4 hours of sleep (Thanks TM! But it was fun!)… Again, I’m feeling real blessed right now. I hope you’re all having a great day as well.
Love on u…
AC
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Aftermath...
Alright… I feel better today. While I STILL stand firmly behind my comments from last night, I can’t let this drama bother me too much…
Today I did something I never thought I would do – after my P2P leak… I sent Steefaan (my biggest fan in the whole world) a copy of the complete DETREVOLUTION album. He nearly fainted!!! His reaction was priceless!!! Needless to say, I was quite excited myself… Of course, you understand, that if I see this version spread anywhere on the Internet, I’m gonna hop on a plane, fly to Rouen, France, and kick his… (Guitar riff!)
Speaking of fans… Where in the hell is GUS GUS? My Icelandic friends are probably way too busy to write, but I miss them. They have an album coming out as well, called “D’Generation” – unless they changed the title. We did a song together for this album as well, but I haven’t heard anything about it since. Rumor has it that it’s on the CD… But until it’s finalized, one never knows… Nonetheless, I miss them a lot.
I’ll write more later… Timmariah (That’s Tim / Mariah – I’ll explain later) is online…
AC
Today I did something I never thought I would do – after my P2P leak… I sent Steefaan (my biggest fan in the whole world) a copy of the complete DETREVOLUTION album. He nearly fainted!!! His reaction was priceless!!! Needless to say, I was quite excited myself… Of course, you understand, that if I see this version spread anywhere on the Internet, I’m gonna hop on a plane, fly to Rouen, France, and kick his… (Guitar riff!)
Speaking of fans… Where in the hell is GUS GUS? My Icelandic friends are probably way too busy to write, but I miss them. They have an album coming out as well, called “D’Generation” – unless they changed the title. We did a song together for this album as well, but I haven’t heard anything about it since. Rumor has it that it’s on the CD… But until it’s finalized, one never knows… Nonetheless, I miss them a lot.
I’ll write more later… Timmariah (That’s Tim / Mariah – I’ll explain later) is online…
AC
Off My Chest...
Lord, have mercy… You ever have one of those days where EVERYTHING seems to be going wrong?! That’s me, LATELY… the kids are working my last damn nerve… While the house is quiet during school hours (thank God), I’ve actually been working like crazy to finish this album – which YAY, it’s finished!
I know I say this all the time, but I can’t wait for DETREVOLUTION to hit the stores… When people can actually go out and buy the CD… When they can HEAR the blood sweat and tears… I look forward to that. But of course, whatever CAN go wrong, DOES go wrong… I’ll save that for another day, and I’ll just knock on wood for now. Hell… If I have to release it online first, that fucking album WILL be heard!
My friends – excuse me… My supposed friends are all working my gottdamn nerves today… Kelli and I had a fabulous lunch today, in honor of her birthday. We ate so much shrimp at Red Lobster, I had to come home and take a NAP… Today, all I really ate was fish and fruit – you can guess what happened…
Of course, there’s the never-ending battle of the bulge – and no, NOT the good bulge. You know, I’m just sick of it. I wanna get up in the morning and just turn into a gym bunny. I wanna exercise ALL DAY. Maybe I’ll release some frustration… Maybe these pounds will fall off like – well, like POUNDS.
I need a damn hug… I need a REAL LIVE, BONA FIDE HUG… And a little more cash wouldn’t hurt matters either.
Alright, now that the “general bitchfest” is done… I can continue about my day. My best friend Robbie told me something that I swear I’ll NEVER understand… This fool bought his EX-boyfriend a CAR. Why? Because the sorry nigga couldn’t buy it his DAMN self… (and yes, I can say it – I’m exempt. LOL) Apparently the EX’s credit was so bad, he couldn’t finance a car. So he asks his live-in lover – some old tired mess, who says no… Who does the EX turn to? “Mr I’Can’t Say No, Even Though I’m Sloppy Seconds, Last On Your List, and by the way, You Fucked Me Over” Robbie! Now, I LOVE Robbie to death. But come on, now… There are just some things even I can’t imagine… If JAY (my ex) asked me to buy ANYTHING for him, I’d curse his ass out. AFTER I laugh in his face… AFTER I get over the shock that he’d even had the NERVE to ask ME, of all people!
Oh well… what can u do? Life goes on…
I also spoke to a distributor “associate” about the politics of the record industry… I’m still having trouble accepting the fact that he’s YET to buy a single one of MY records from Wallshaker. But like most people, he talks shit… Until it’s time for action, and then POOF… gone. During our conversation, he says to me, “I’ll take 50 of your upcoming CD…” 50 copies. Ok. Now mind you, 50 copies is 50 copies. I’ll sell it to whoever’s buying, u hear me? But the fucking POLITICS?! I can’t understand…
Mind you, I know some people reading this are going “Hey… Aaron’s just telling ALL his business!” They think it’s not proper etiquette to get online and air out all your dirty laundry. You know what? Fuck you. YES, I’m supposed to be this “star…” And when I’m onstage or in the studio, yes, the fuck I AM a star… But when the show is over, there’s a PERSON standing here… And this PERSON is tired of being used, abused, taken advantage of, taken for GRANTED, cheated on, fucked over, lied to, lied ABOUT… I’m sick of it. Fuck etiquette. I’m pissed the fuck OFF.
Hold up, wait a minute…
I’m not about to have one of those Mariah Carey breakdowns… I’m sure that tomorrow, I’ll feel better. I’ll be able to deal with all this craziness around me. Maybe I’ll hear a friendly voice from a REAL friend tomorrow – whomever that may be… HAHA.. The life of a star, right? I have tons of fans… So few friends. And even from those FEW, I’m like “what’s going on?”
I promised myself I’d be in bed a few hours ago… I TOLD myself I wouldn’t torture my body like this; staying up half the night, KNOWING I’ve got so much to do during the day… Oh well… We’ll try again tomorrow.
Nite nite…
I know I say this all the time, but I can’t wait for DETREVOLUTION to hit the stores… When people can actually go out and buy the CD… When they can HEAR the blood sweat and tears… I look forward to that. But of course, whatever CAN go wrong, DOES go wrong… I’ll save that for another day, and I’ll just knock on wood for now. Hell… If I have to release it online first, that fucking album WILL be heard!
My friends – excuse me… My supposed friends are all working my gottdamn nerves today… Kelli and I had a fabulous lunch today, in honor of her birthday. We ate so much shrimp at Red Lobster, I had to come home and take a NAP… Today, all I really ate was fish and fruit – you can guess what happened…
Of course, there’s the never-ending battle of the bulge – and no, NOT the good bulge. You know, I’m just sick of it. I wanna get up in the morning and just turn into a gym bunny. I wanna exercise ALL DAY. Maybe I’ll release some frustration… Maybe these pounds will fall off like – well, like POUNDS.
I need a damn hug… I need a REAL LIVE, BONA FIDE HUG… And a little more cash wouldn’t hurt matters either.
Alright, now that the “general bitchfest” is done… I can continue about my day. My best friend Robbie told me something that I swear I’ll NEVER understand… This fool bought his EX-boyfriend a CAR. Why? Because the sorry nigga couldn’t buy it his DAMN self… (and yes, I can say it – I’m exempt. LOL) Apparently the EX’s credit was so bad, he couldn’t finance a car. So he asks his live-in lover – some old tired mess, who says no… Who does the EX turn to? “Mr I’Can’t Say No, Even Though I’m Sloppy Seconds, Last On Your List, and by the way, You Fucked Me Over” Robbie! Now, I LOVE Robbie to death. But come on, now… There are just some things even I can’t imagine… If JAY (my ex) asked me to buy ANYTHING for him, I’d curse his ass out. AFTER I laugh in his face… AFTER I get over the shock that he’d even had the NERVE to ask ME, of all people!
Oh well… what can u do? Life goes on…
I also spoke to a distributor “associate” about the politics of the record industry… I’m still having trouble accepting the fact that he’s YET to buy a single one of MY records from Wallshaker. But like most people, he talks shit… Until it’s time for action, and then POOF… gone. During our conversation, he says to me, “I’ll take 50 of your upcoming CD…” 50 copies. Ok. Now mind you, 50 copies is 50 copies. I’ll sell it to whoever’s buying, u hear me? But the fucking POLITICS?! I can’t understand…
Mind you, I know some people reading this are going “Hey… Aaron’s just telling ALL his business!” They think it’s not proper etiquette to get online and air out all your dirty laundry. You know what? Fuck you. YES, I’m supposed to be this “star…” And when I’m onstage or in the studio, yes, the fuck I AM a star… But when the show is over, there’s a PERSON standing here… And this PERSON is tired of being used, abused, taken advantage of, taken for GRANTED, cheated on, fucked over, lied to, lied ABOUT… I’m sick of it. Fuck etiquette. I’m pissed the fuck OFF.
Hold up, wait a minute…
I’m not about to have one of those Mariah Carey breakdowns… I’m sure that tomorrow, I’ll feel better. I’ll be able to deal with all this craziness around me. Maybe I’ll hear a friendly voice from a REAL friend tomorrow – whomever that may be… HAHA.. The life of a star, right? I have tons of fans… So few friends. And even from those FEW, I’m like “what’s going on?”
I promised myself I’d be in bed a few hours ago… I TOLD myself I wouldn’t torture my body like this; staying up half the night, KNOWING I’ve got so much to do during the day… Oh well… We’ll try again tomorrow.
Nite nite…
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Tidal Wave
All of a sudden, I feel old. I feel tired. I feel week. I feel black. I feel gay. I feel wrong… I feel abandoned. I feel unloved… untouchable… unwanted… undesirable… And it all came at once, out of nowhere…
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