Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I think I'm gonna surprise DJ Bone & do the TITLE track 4 his upcoming "Lost Tribe of Techno 2" album. He's gonna SCREAM when he hears it!
How are YOU gonna make a positive difference in YOUR world today?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

(sings along...) "...she's your queeeeeen to beeeeeeee! a queen 2 be foreeeeverrrrrrrrrrrr!!!" LMBO!!!
...HELLO?! Where r u?
Do u feel like an impromptu W.A.R.M.T.H. Session tonight? Meet me at the spot... 7pm EST. See u there... MUAH!
Just showing you all some love today... MUAH!

Monday, September 28, 2009

With each new day, comes a new beginning... Another chance to teach, learn, love & inspire. Let's celebrate our opportunity...

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Saturday, September 26, 2009

It takes a man 2 admit his faults. I lead with my emotions, which can be both good & bad... I jumped 2 conclusions & 4 that, I apologize..
NOTE 2 the artists... please make sure u get your money UP FRONT, before u hit the stage... Otherwise, u get swindled. Lesson learned.
Tomorrow, I head back home 2 Detroit. TODAY, I'll reflect on my many experiences here, & look 2 them 4 inspiration...

Friday, September 25, 2009

Baby, I worked it tonight... I know we were supposed 2 do a radio show, but I was STILL performing on stage... Do u still love me? <3
With love, pain, joy & rage, it's almost time 2 grace the stage... I bring 2 u, my heart & soul. The spirit of House will take control...
I'm sorry, y'all... I've gotta get it together. THIS is when I need to lean on my FAITH! I'm STRONGER than this... I'll be alright...
WHAT IS THIS BULLS*&^? I have NO artist pass, NO breakfast, NO lunch, and the F**KING LADY AT THE CHINESE RESTAURANT doesn't speak English?
Going thru my CDs.. Found my secret rmx of Diviniti's "Find a Way." Such a beautiful tune, it makes me cry. I'll play it tonight 4 sure!
Holland, U have NO IDEA how special u guys are making me feel! <3 It's so cute 2 walk around & hear the buzz, "OMG, Aaron-Carl is here!" LOL looks like I missed lunch too. But I won't complain. Today will be a GREAT day. Man, I feel like writing a song right now! <3 <3
Slept thru breakfast, which is cool... I look forward 2 DJing & singing tonight! Maybe I'll walk around the city, or work on a song. Hmmm.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Someone told me I should be proud 2 have a 4-octave vocal range. I guess that's pretty darn good, 4 a guy, eh? I thank God 4 the gift!
You've gotta be KIDDING me... Now they want a CREDIT CARD? 4 me 2 make a LOCAL phone call? WHAT?! Are y'all SERIOUS??!! Goodness!
Welcome to The Hague... 20 Euro/day for Internet access?! Well, at least the hotel is nice, and I've met some cool folks already..

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Headed 2 The Hague tomorrow morning... Big thanx 2 Laurent&Lewis for being such gracious hosts! Almost time 2 rock another stage... YEAH!
For those who wish 2 download my Stockholm Sweden set, do so here... ENJOY!!
So, I just found out where I'm playing Friday nite... It's at Paard. My set begins at Midnight. Cool... :-)
...Let Your love release this burden of mine...
....only during the storm, do we discover what we're TRULY made of... Thank U Lord, 4 the courage & strength. (PS: Good mornteen, y'all!)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Today was a day full of new experiences & revelations. I took the BAD with the GOOD, and STILL came out, a SURVIVOR... Thank you Lord.
...sometimes you just have to get up & stand your ground -- no matter WHO it offends... Don't let ANYONE take away your strength!
OMG... I just noticed that my face is really getting thinner... and I'm getting stretch marks, which means I'm LOSING weight! YAY!!!
...He did NOT carry me this far, just 2 let me fall.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I think my body is STILL on Detroit time, because I'm not tired! But I'm going 2 bed anyway. PS: Recording of Sweden's DJ set coming soon!
For the first time in my life, I ate ASPARAGUS... I admit, it was delicious! How's THAT for trying new things? <3 (still eating healthy!)
Hey there... I'm alright. I accept that REAL change takes time, and I'm willing to put in the work. Here's 2 HAPPINESS!!!
Trying not 2 get depressed... Just walking to the market has me winded? I had 2 stop and rest along the way?...WTF?! It'll get better...
Good mornteen... I didn't sleep much, & I'm still tired, but I'm alright. I don't know why, but I feel like SINGING!!! <3

Sunday, September 20, 2009

...for those who didn't see this yet... :-)
Good mornteen!!! I'm up, and ready to start my day... Tonight's destination -- Amsterdam! I'll miss u, Sweden... MUAH!!!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Playing some tracks on the air... right now. ...and YES, I'm in the chat room 2... SURPRISE!
Due to a mixup, I won't be playing tonight's Private Party. I'm sad, but it's okay... I still remember the magic from last night. :-)
Thank you STOCKHOLM, for tonight! (Well, last night..) I had an awesome time @ Marie Leveau; especially being able to connect with YOU! <3

Friday, September 18, 2009

Hey there! Almost gig time. Unfortunately there will be no Radio Show tonight,but I'll make it up to u. Promise. MUAH!!! Talk soon...
I am here in Stockholm, Sweden... it's sunny and beautiful. Now I must SLEEP after being on that plane for all that time! Talk soon.. <3

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Just touching base... All is well. Preparing for the trip, and OH, is there LOTS to do!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

This battle is NOT mine... I will lean on His word, step out on MY faith, and KNOW that everything will be alright!

The Victory

One of the hardest things to do is draw on our own inner strength, and truly FIGHT the battle. I've taken that first step right now. But before I continue, let me stop and say this:

I DO NOT regret writing that earlier post. As I said before, depression is REAL. It hurts. It kills... But I noticed something... When I claimed it as "MY" depression, I gave it power. Well, I'm officially taking that power BACK. I will NOT accept depression. I will NOT let it take over me...

Thank you to everyone who took time to read, FEEL, and respond to my earlier message. I wasn't really crying out for help -- not from anyone here on earth. I was crying out to God. As a result, I've been sent many signs. Some of those signs came from YOU, in a phone call, or an e-mail, or a comment -- even a prayer, or word of encouragement. Other signs came from me just being alone, sitting with my thoughts and tears. I know that through my blogs (as well as my music), I've touched somebody. I know I'm not the ONLY one who goes through what I go through. I ALSO know that some of us have it MUCH WORSE... This post, this VICTORY is for US.. it's ours. Let us claim it!

I know I leave for Europe in the next few days. I'm preparing myself -- body, mind and soul -- for the journey. I was both right AND wrong when I said earlier, "nobody gives a damn..." To everyone who prayed for me, sent me a message, called me on the phone, or even sat down with me face to face... I KNOW you care. And I appreciate it a great deal... Thank you.

Again, I have no regrets. I've been through EVERYTHING I've been through, and I'm STILL here. My revelation is this: In order for me to be the GREATEST, I have to overcome the WORST. I needed to be reminded that THIS BATTLE IS NOT MINE!!! Now is the time for me to TRULY step out on MY FAITH, and KNOW that GOD will fight my battles, and that victory IS mine.

Here's to the journey...


The Fight

Depression is real... I say this to you because I feel it creeping up on me. As I said in my earlier status update, I cannot let this take over me. Not today. I REFUSE to succumb to this stifling madness.

I'm fighting, my friend... I'm fighting. I'm gonna get up and do something completely DIFFERENT from the routine. Maybe I'll take a walk thru my neighborhood. You know, I've been here TWO YEARS already, and have NEVER taken a walk thru my own neighborhood?

I don't know what's wrong... You'd think I'd be satisfied after what happened last night -- I did something I've NEVER done before... Karaoke!!! (I sang "Super Freak" by Rick James.) It was awesome, and I received a standing ovation -- the cute bald guy even bowed down to me, how funny! But I felt bad. I felt bad because I couldn't even dance an entire song without sitting down -- and it was the simplest dance on earth: The Chimp Shuffle. (Y'all know what I'm talking about...)

I felt it as I was driving home last night... It was like "oh God, I'm coming home..." And I did the same thing I ALWAYS do. I walked in, went straight to my bedroom, sat on this same ol' bed, get on the computer, and stayed here until I got tired. Then I laid down, went to sleep, woke up "just to do it all over again..."

But no. HELL NO. I refuse to go out like that. I remember my mother, who basically lived in her room. Her bedroom was her sanctuary, it seemed. When she came home from work, she walked in, went directly up to her room, and stayed there until the next day. Sometimes she'd cook. Sometimes she'd hang out. But for the most part, she stayed in her room listening to music, watching TV, and just living in her own world.

She ultimately died in her room... And now that I look back on it, I wonder if that will someday be me. I'm scared. I know she felt what I am feeling right now. You see, I know what it feels like to smile -- and have such a beautiful, captivating smile -- only to mask the loneliness and hurt inside. I know what it feels like to listen to the world around me -- the chaos and confusion from the kids -- and wish I was somewhere else... My mother used to say all the time, "All I want is peace in my house." I catch myself saying the same thing... All I want is PEACE in MY house...

Sometimes I just want to run the fuck away. Sometimes I DO leave my house and get myself a hotel room, just to relax. Just to get away from it all... I'll sit on the bed, alone with my thoughts, and just do NOTHING AT ALL -- and it feels so good. Then I remember... My mother used to do that. I remember being so naive and asking her before, "You've got your own house... Why are YOU leaving?" Now I understand why.

I know what it's like to feel so emotionally drained, you don't want do anything except sleep. Those who know me well, know all the drama I've had to endure with my teenage son, Stefan. I was so depressed at one point, I just let myself go. I wouldn't cut my hair, barely got dressed, didn't care what I looked like, etc. In my mind, I was like "what's the point?" Nobody's gonna notice anyway. ...and sure enough, nobody noticed. The cycle continued until now...

Now, I'm starting to exercise my strengths again. I can see myself becoming successful -- and actually FEELING successful... But it's still a very hard battle to fight -- and I have tons of odds against me. I won't give up, because I remember how I USED to be. I'm still alive, and I don't want to take that for granted.

I look at myself today, and sometimes I want to cry. I look at this body and think, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU? All my life, I've been thin. I was a damn good dancer. Fast forward to today, and my big ass can't even do the Chimp Shuffle without sitting down? What?! I used to win TALENT SHOWS for dancing. This cannot be me!

I used to walk EVERYWHERE... to the bus stop.. to the store... whatever. Now I'm confined to this bedroom, like it's a prison. People can say "oh, just exercise..." It's not that easy. When you get winded just from walking up a flight of stairs, it's hard as hell to run laps around a track. And if I told you how much weight I have to lose, just to get back down to where I was before, YOU'D faint. It's depressing... I've literally broken CHAIRS just by sitting down in them. It's hard to shop for clothes when your shirt size is a fucking 5XL. And as attractive as I used to be, it KILLS me to think that today, I only appeal to "chasers." I've never felt so gottdamn lonely...

But I say all of this to say, I'm still alive. Thank God. I still have an opportunity to change my life. I don't know HOW I'm gonna do it. God, I leave for Europe in 4 days. I'll put on my game face. I'll walk my ass through these International airports, no matter how winded I get. I'll get on stage, do my thing, and be the FABULOUS MOTHERFUCKING AARON-CARL that I KNOW I am... I'll work the crowds into a frenzy, and give them everything I've got. They'll LOVE me -- for that moment in time... They'll REMEMBER me for a long time after I leave... I KNOW THIS!!!

And because I KNOW this, I cannot let depression get the best of me today. I wish somebody would come over to my house right now, pull me OUT of this room, and just FORCE me to get out of this funk. But no one's gonna do that. So, as with everything else in life, I have to be self sufficient. I've got to be my own knight in shining armor.

It's like that song by Queen, "Don't Try Suicide." One line I've always remembered from that record:
"Nobody gives a damn..."

Get up, AC. Snap out of this... You can do it. Come on, bitch. You're BETTER than this!
I will NOT let depression take over today... I must break the cycle. I feel it coming on, but I've gotta fight. I'm STRONGER than this!!!
...For in MY house, we are ALL free... One nation.. God's children... coming together in the spirit of House... Feel it, children! <3

Saturday, September 12, 2009

...foreign accents are SOOO sexy... :-)
...I didn't think I had to TAKE IT THERE, but I guess I did. Lord, some of these folks just don't know me like that... !!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

One more week until I head out for Europe! Three more dates confirmed so far... Lord, I can't wait to see you guys! <3
What is meant for us SHALL be, if we make room 4 it, and believe... I believe & I'm ready! Here's to new beginnings... <3

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Congratulations to Detroit's own DJ Seoul & DJ Trench -- they BOTH have weddings today. Much love to them & their brides-to-be!!! <3

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Good mornteen! Today is the boys' first day of school. Is it wrong to celebrate my freedom so early? LOL!
If You Seek Amy - As dumb as folks think she is, she's got us talking... she even says it clearly right after the chorus.. F*** ME.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Y'all remember the "Calgon, take me away" commercials? ...the kids, the dog, the phone... yes, it's one of THOSE mornings! AAAAHHHHH!!!
..don't u hate it when people just BARGE into your room without knocking? ...and all u want is a few moments to yourself? Damn!

Sunday, September 06, 2009

...the last autographed copy of Erica LaFay's "RAIN" vinyl-only edition just got posted on Ebay!
Happy Birthday, Ms. CeCe Peniston! MUCH LOVE 2 U on this special day... MUAH! (I might just call & sing 2 u later! heheheh) <3 u sis!

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Whew! So tired... ran on ALL cylinders all day today, but it was worth it! Millionaire minds NEVER sleep, but can I RECHARGE a bit? LOL!

Friday, September 04, 2009

Had a BLAST on the radio show!!! Thank u all 4 so much love... See u next week? And remember.. SPREAD the word... it's all about US! <3
Alright listeners... represent!!! Where u at? --DETROIT, baby!
Tune in tonight to The W.A.R.M.T.H. Sessions, 7PM EST. It's gonna be a hot one, y'all!!! <3 <3

Thursday, September 03, 2009

No weapon formed against us shall prosper, y'all hear me? Each day, we're getting closer 2 our victory... W.A.R.M.T.H. 313 FAMILY! <3 <3
Alright y'all... there are only 5 of these autographed copies in the world..

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Tonight was the beginning of PURE DETROIT W.A.R.M.T.H. MAGIC! A big thanks to everyone who made the meeting -- We'll be in touch soon! <3
Almost time for my 7pm meeting. May God keep our minds & hearts open. I pray 4 the spirit of camaraderie & purity to lead us to our goal.
I'm in awe... To the fans of my Deep House, Ghetto Tech, Electro/Techno/Whatever styles I do... I LOVE and appreciate u ALL! Thank you. <3
Messing around on YouTube... finding vids of my tunes... leaving comments & showing my appreciation. Thanks for all the love, y'all!!