Saturday, June 30, 2007

For U

Thank u for admiring my uniqueness.
It isn’t easy to understand me at times…
While strong and confident, occasionally I’m insecure.
And this insecurity sometimes makes me blind…

Thank u for acknowledging my maturity,
But while I’m grown, I’m still like a child.
Sometimes I’m cool like a summer breeze.
Every now and then, I’m an inferno gone wild.

Thank u for letting me live and learn.
While I’m not always right, I’m not always wrong.
Thank u for knowing that I’m not perfect.
Thank u for loving me, in spite of my flaws.

Thank u for not losing sight of the goodness
I carry inside…
Thank u for showing me that I’m still worthy.
Thank u for not leaving me during the worst of times.

Love Always,

Monday, June 18, 2007

Emerge - A Detroit House + Techno Alliance = Success!

To everyone who helped make EMERGE a very successful party last Saturday night, I sincerely and most humbly thank YOU!!!

The guys @ Sonic Synergy hooked up the sound for upstairs, and it was BANGIN'! You definitely gave the folks downstairs a run for our money. Timika and the Electronic Music Tour team -- I cannot thank you guys enough. The food was awesome -- those Swedish meatballs? OMG! The VIP room itself was very nice. I swear we need one of those, EVERYWHERE we go.

DJ Seoul: Even with that big-ass monitor blaring in your ear, you managed to pull off a very nice set. Thank you for sticking around and helping to spread the love. (I saw you out there dancing during Veronique's live set!)

Jeff Comer -- I'm just glad you were THERE, even though you didn't have to play much. Still your presence was much appreciated.

DJ E. Dubb and Chris (Deaken): Y'all tore that shit up. You guys made me proud. (Wallshaker in the HOUSE!)

Benji Hayes and Jay Langa -- WHO was that girl standing in front of the DJ booth, dancing with her boobs out? You two were like Beavis and Butthead: "he he heheh.. Bewbs!!" But you rocked out, and I'm GLAD you got to see how your performance inspired some folks! LOL...

For those who saw DJ Surgeon's live set. Wasn't it off the chain? OH MAN, that man can work those turntables. It was kinda hard to dance during that set because I couldn't keep my eyes off the turntables! Surgeon, you let them HAVE it. And you didn't let up. And that CD of yours is definitely a killer.

...and VERONIQUE -- dayum, that woman can SING! She started her set with a cover version of Chaka Khan's "Ain't Nobody" -- completely housed up and reworked by yours truly, thank you. (An yes, that was me singing background...) I kid you not. Veronique sang, and souls were moved. Especially when "Use Me" came on... It was over. She took us back to CHURCH! I couldn't help screaming and shouting during that song -- which is why I lost my damn voice again, but it was worth it! I DJed for the rest of that hour. We all had fun.

Posatronix and Di'Jital... OMG. I was certainly NOT disappointed by their live set whatsoever. I kept running back and forth between upstairs and downstairs because DJ Revolt was upstairs KILLING IT - wasn't he? I'm so used to hearing Revolt spin "early" sets, but Lord, Jesus... The energy that man was bringing to the crowd -- it resonated throughout the building! So THAT, at the same time as Posatronix and Di'Jital's live set? Whoo, did I get a workout THAT hour!

And finally, the sweet sounds of Mike Huckaby. Damn, that man spun some soulful house! He was the perfect choice to bring the house down, because he grabbed you from the first record, and did NOT let go. We were gonna close down at 4 a.m., but he kept on rocking it. Folks were STILL paying to get in @ 4 a.m.... That was crazy! At the same time, upstairs -- in a completely different world, ANOTHER crowd was jumping...

DJ Erelevent banged out some hard techno for your ASSES, baby! And like Mike, he kept it going till WAY after 4... When we finally ended the night, I swear those turntables were on fire. (And hey, Erelevent... Those were MY Technics you were working to death, Mister! LOL)Overall, it was a very peaceful, FUN, outrageous night.

YOU ALL made this party a success, and I thank ALL of you for coming down and supporting it. And knowing full well there's NO "I" in "team," I know I couldn't have done it without the IMMEASURABLE help and support of CRATESAVERS. My new brothers (and sisters), words can't express how grateful and thankful I am. If this party was ANY indicator of what we can do when we join forces (House + Techno), then DETROIT will be back on the map in a BIG way!

Love and much respect, y'all! Pics are up on my MySpace page, so enjoy...


Thursday, June 07, 2007

Like an Adult

...So I just received a threatening telephone call from Todd, who says"You better watch your back," in regards to my recent blog. Mind you, he didn't say it directly to me. He said to Mel, who answered the phone. When Mel relayed the message to me, my FIRST reaction was to call him back and curse... But like an adult, I didn't. I kept my cool. Not 5 minutes later, I get a phone call from Erick (E. Dubb). Todd also called and left a message on his (father's) cell phone... "I don't know who to call, but I'm a bit worried about Erick -- he's smoking crack or whatever!" Erick was devastated when he called me... I had to remind Erick of some things, and it is for THIS reason I'm writing this blog... Because THIS is a testament. God is good all the time, let me first say... I repeat. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. And it is BECAUSE of GOD that I am able to understand and acknowledge this situation for what it is...

I deleted the last part of my blog (in which I described the demise of Todd's and my friendship). I didn't delete it because of Todd's threatening phone call. I am in NO WAY, SHAPE or FORM afraid of him. My blog was in no way malicious or slanderous. I spoke the truth -- and not just from MY side of the story... I stepped outside of myself and spoke the ACTUAL truth. Everybody knows there's two sides to every story. I pride myself in not being dumb enough to tell a one-sided story. Our friendship ended over something stupid, yes... But we were BOTH at fault. I acted pretty childish at times during our friendship. So did he. And unfortunately, that childishness ended what I thought was an unbreakable bond.

But I said it earlier, and I'm saying it now. I'm not going out of my way to be his enemy. I don't tarnish his name in the streets. When he left Wallshaker, he left. Okay... I've moved on. So to get a phone call like the one I received this afternoon, it only tells me that TODD is the one with the problem.

I just spoke to Erick on the phone. I reminded him of just how proud I am of him. He HAS come a long way since we met. When I met Erick, he DID have a problem with drugs -- crack in particular. He was on probation, without his G.E.D., and didn't really have much of a future ahead of him at all. But I took a chance on him. I BELIEVED in him. And by the grace of God, Erick has completely turned himself around. He's sober, off probation, he has his G.E.D., and he's got a VERY bright future ahead of him. If being on Wallshaker (or having a friendship with me) has allowed Erick to change his life for the better, let this be a testament! Again, I'm PROUD of him. And I'm thankful to God that I have the opportunity to BETTER someone's life and make their dreams come true.

Todd wrote a response to the blog I deleted, and he asked me "Is it lonely where you are?" My honest answer is NO, it is NOT lonely where I am. I've made some real connections in my life. I connect with people through my music. I connect through my words. I connect through my personality. And when someone tells me that my blog, or my song, or my attitude inspires them and helps change their life, I KNOW I'm doing something right.

He also made it a point to note the bad qualities about my personality. He noted how jealous I was when I became insecure -- something I have never denied. And yes, I've done some crazy "ghettofied" things because I sought attention from Todd. I've since apologized for those actions, and from what I thought, the matter was over. Apparantly not, since he brought it back up in recent conversaton -- something he promised me he would never do. He was so afraid of me doing these things again, he purposely hid his relationship (with his gf) from me. Well, that's not my fault that he wasn't confident enough in my ability to handle the situation like an adult.

I've learned LONG AGO that when you're doing GOOD, that's when the devil gets busy. Right now, the devil is CRAZY BUSY! So again, I thank God for allowing me to see through it. Instead of trying to reason with the devil, I just turned and walked away. Instead of trying to argue a moot point with Todd, I just simply deleted the blog entry. Instead of trying to figure out who's better or worse, I'll simply let me works speak for me.

I've told you the good that Wallshaker has done so far -- Erick is a shining example. My merge with Cratesavers, as well as the deal I just landed with the Chicago licensing house -- I'd say that the blessings are in abundance right now. And trust me when I say, I know this is bigger than me. God has HIS hands in my life right now.

I was warned.. in so many words, "be careful who you meet on your way up, because you'll see them on your way back down..." You're absolutely right. And I cannot wait. I'm well aware that what goes up MUST come down sometime. And believe me, I DO have my "down" moments. The people who I'm meeting on the way "up," I adore and appreciate. When I met Todd, maybe my eyes weren't as open as I thought they were. But when our friendship ended, I wasn't like "fuck Todd." I was like "Lord, what can I do to become a better person?" And if it's too late to mend things with Todd, then at least I'll be better for the NEXT friend.

I'm not worried about the haters... When you hate on me, I KNOW it's because I'm doing something right. And when you try to destroy what God is building, you will fail EVERY TIME. ...which brings me back to this blog. I didn't have to delete a damn thing I wrote. It was in no way slanderous, one-sided or untrue. But obviously, the truth was enough to rile him up so badly, he'd call my house and make threats against me? I better watch MY back? I'll do you one better... I'll let GOD continue to watch my back. The fact that Todd took time to even respond to my blog, explain "his side" of things, or whatever it was he thought he was doing -- it shows me that HE'S in an angry place. And speaking of malicious, that was pretty low what he tried to do to Erick -- exposing his past to the world like that. But like I told Erick today, don't be ashamed! BE PROUD!! Yes, you smoked crack. YES, you were a danger to yourself and others around you (even me) at one point and time... But look at you NOW. You SURVIVED it! You BETTER be proud of the fact that you ROSE ABOVE that bullshit. And NO, it's nobody else's business. But if word ever got out there, then hey... OWN IT. WEAR IT like a badge of honor. Because you are in a MUCH better place now. You can hold your head up high, and earn your respect. Thank GOD. Your mother and father are proud of you now... The changes you've made in your life are evident. And as you continue to grow, and your life continues to flourish, you'll earn even MORE respect. YOU are the perfect example of what can happen when you let God put HIS hand in your life. YOU are living proof, Erick. Be proud of that.

On that note, I'll end this blog. I was angry when I sat down to write this, but now I have a big smile on my face. I love my label, and I'm thankful for the good it has done people so far. My job is far from over...

Love on u...


I've made some wonderful remixes lately... A song called "Individual" by Yolanda Johnson -- it's the theme song to a BET late-night special program I can't remember the name to... But I didn't know this until AFTER I remixed the song. They LOVE the mix, and plan to use it. THAT made me feel very good. Now I've been invited to remix a song called "If We Were Alone" by an R&B singer named Keite Young. God has blessed me with this talent, so I'm thankful that I'm able to USE it. And I'm even more thankful that my works are appreciated, and all this hard work is paying off...

I haven't started on MY album yet, because I've been so busy producing for other people. I admit, it's been a lot of fun. I've been building my label roster up, and I just signed an exclusive digital distribution deal with Groovesource -- a licensing house based in Chicago. Careerwise, I'm doing GREAT. Thank God for that! Otherwise, I'd be totally crazy.

Wallshaker is having another party next week -- and I'm nervous as all hell... Well, maybe nervous isn't the best word. ANXIOUS is more like it. It started out as a Wallshaker showcase party, which quickly grew into something phenomenal. Thanks to Cratesavers, a simple Wallshaker showcase party turned into "Emerge: A Detroit House/Techno Alliance." And YES, I'm calling it EMERGE for a reason - guess why... LOL! But I'm doing this party up BIG.. A vip area with catered food, merchandise, 3 live performances throughout the night -- yes, it's gonna be huge. And the people here in Detroit can't wait to attend!

I invited one of my fans to come down -- little does he know he's going to be my date for the evening. LOL... Many of you might take this for granted, but believe me... There's NOTHING better than a kiss. Nothing better than a reassuring sensual confirmation that YES, you are someone special; you ARE someone worthy... I miss dating... I miss that feeling of "oooh, I can't WAIT to get closer to him!"

Then I glance over in the mirror and watch myself type. Today isn't such a good day... I don't feel so attractive. I need a damn haircut, and I swear I'm calling "Jenny Craig" or "Richard Simmons" or some damn body for a weight loss solution... I've been "big" for a few years now -- but not THAT damn long... I'm still not used to it. But I know that this is how everyone else sees me... The folks who know me NOW, didn't know the "skinny" Boogie... They didn't know the ME who was a lot more confident.

Am I saying that thin is beautiful??? Well, maybe I am. But I'm not stupid enough to say that BIG folks aren't worthy of love... In fact, when I WAS that little skinny bitch, I LOVED big folks. I still do But it's not easy to ignore all the magazines and movies, where everyone is "beautiful" and buff, toned, fit and ultimately happy. Mind you, I've NEVER had a problem with my face -- i LOVE my face... My mother and father were both two attractive individuals, and I'm SO glad that I have the "looks" that I have. Even my asymmetrical eyes... I LOVE them. Denzel Washington also has asymmetrical eyes, and he's a damn sex symbol.

But i digress... It hurts me to starve myself. And instead of bitching about it, I guess I just need to get some damn discipline and do something about my weight. But it's HARD, y'all... It's HARD!!! It's not as easy as they make it look on TV. It's a lot of WORK WORK WORK... and more HARD WORK. I just wish I had a damn jump-start.

Again, digressing... it's after 2 a.m.. I'm dog-tired. And although I'd rather be in the arms of someone who wants to hold me, I'm gonna lay down next to my "old man..." And I'll try not to bitch about it in the morning...

Nite nite, y'all...