Saturday, September 18, 2010
To All Of U -- an update from me
At last, I am finally out of the hospital. I'm not exactly "out of the woods" yet, but I am home. I tried to send updates as things happened, but due to the internet connection (and ip blocking) at the hospital, I was unable to answer e-mails, get to Facebook, Twitter, etc... I couldn't even watch YOUTUBE! I couldn't blog. I was reduced to sending messages from my phone, which was pretty damn cumbersome, considering I had to explain to EVERYONE (who was concerned) what was wrong with me.
So as you already know, I suffered from a ruptured aneurysm in my right kidney, and I had inflammation of my lower bowel. I was hospitalized a few days before I was scheduled to start my tour, and was originally released the night before my flight left for Berlin. Early that morning, I was rushed back to the hospital because I wasn't well at all. I'd eaten lunch and dinner (two days in a row) while in the hospital, and couldn't pass anything. My stomach was completely hard and distended. Needless to say, the pain was completely unbearable.
I had a colonoscopy, which was a success. No tumors, abnormalities, etc... Thank God! Nobody knows why my body reacted the way it did. The only explanation is that I completely overworked myself, and my body just couldn't handle it anymore.
As you know, I've lost over 60 pounds so far, by dieting, exercising (a little) and just living a more active lifestyle. I'm trimming down, which is a GOOD thing. I tell you, NONE of these problems started happening to me until I gained all of my weight. Even NOW, I still can't believe that I used to be so heavy. (Depression will do that to you, believe me...)
As far as my blood work is concerned, EVERYTHING came back normal. No diabetes, no high blood pressure, no cancers, no nothing. Thank God for that!
Unfortunately I had to cancel this tour -- and you KNOW I didn't want to do that... Now that I am home, I am supposed to take it easy and get lots of rest for three weeks, until I have to see the kidney specialist again -- right now, he doesn't think I need the surgery and wants to treat it medically instead of surgically. HE says that the blood around my kidney should be reabsorbed by my body, and when I come back to see him, he will determine then if I need to have my kidney repaired. So as I said before, I'm not out of the woods, but I AM feeling a bit better -- even mentally, because this whole ordeal scared the hell out of me.
Right now, I'm working on rescheduling my tour dates for sometime around the beginning of the year. I want to use this time to COMPLETELY work on getting myself better. I want to be the absolute BEST I can be on stage, on the road, etc.
Let me say this to you... I TRULY feel the love. I know I said this in an earlier post, but I can't help saying it again. To all of the fans who stuck by me and actually UNDERSTOOD that I didn't miss my tour intentionally -- and to know that they actually CARED. The phone calls, the messages, emails, etc. THANK YOU!
And again, to the people who took time out of their day to come and see me in the hospital, I appreciate that more than you know. My friends, my family, my fans -- wow. I can't ever complain and say that I'm not absolutely LOVED.
So I'll keep you all updated -- I'm not stopping completely! In fact, while I intend to get LOTS of bed rest, once I see the specialist, I will do everything I can to continue getting healthier. Exercise, diet, etc. I may even consider getting the "lapband" surgery. This damn weight needs to come OFF of me.
I promise you that I will be a better me -- physically, that is... My health is important -- I'm no good to ANYONE if I'm not good to myself, if you know what I mean... But I know y'all understand. And I KNOW you'll be there when I fully recover. Thank you for standing by my side. With all my heart, I thank God for each of you.