Dropped that bitch...

...this is SOOO silly, but sooo true. And if it didn't just happen to me, I wouldn't believe it.

After a long night (DJing), I stopped @ a friend's house before heading home. Lord, I had to pee so bad... So while I'm standing there ENJOYING this wonderful moment, I hear a loud "PLOP!" inside the toilet. I opened my eyes and looked down...

OH HELL NAW...

My cell phone fell from my jacket pocket, straight into the toilet. My gut instinct told me NOT to reach into the toilet to grab it, but to get help -- but I couldn't invite someone else into the bathroom right after I just peed... Ewww. So, I did what any cell phone lover would do... I reached INTO the toilet and grabbed for my phone. Big mistake. The phone went further down, until it was out of my reach. Now mind you, I couldn't stop laughing at myself -- hand immersed in a toilet full of pee, chasing after a cell phone that I'm SURE no longer worked...

So silly me. I thought, "oh, the phone's too big to go down the drain... I'll just go get help, but FIRST, let me at least flush the PEE down..."

"flush..."

OH SHIT! The phone went completely down the drain, gone forever... Now somewhere in sewer-land, someone's gonna get a nice little surprise. Can you imagine sitting on the toilet one day, and all of a sudden you hear, "ANSWER THE PHONE, CHILD! HURRY IT UP! AARON-CARL, YOUR PHONE IS RINGING!!!" (That's my custom ringer...)

So in my best Florida Evans voice, I repeat this mantra: "Damn, DAMN, DAMN!!!"

Whoo, I just had to tell somebody. Now I'm off to bed. I'll replace the phone tomorrow -- maybe I'll tell them it got stolen? LMBFAO...

New DJ Mix, etc

Hey there:

Folks have been asking me for a DJ mix... So alright, I made one to put online.
Hope you enjoy it, definitely!!!

As for everything else, I'm doing alright. Haven't really been speaking to too many people lately, just because I've been going thru my reconstruction phase. OOOH, people get BITCHY without carbs! LOL... So tonight, my friend Todd is coming over to bring me pizza -- YES, pizza. I'm eating pizza tonight because damnit, I deserve it. Tomorrow morning, I'll resume my "rabbit food" diet... Fruits, Vegetables, Water... Multivitamin... a protein shake here and there... No meat, no dairy, no bread...

Hmmm.. what else is there? Besides the super-sexy Malaysian DJ who seems to have taken a liking to me?

Oh yes... "SKY" -- I hope people don't sleep on this record. I'm hoping that all my real fans download it, love it and apprecite it. I'm still working on the distribution, so my records won't be so hard to find. (Just PLEASE don't make me go through "you know where..." I really don't make any money thru them...)

But anyway... I feel good today. I'll write more soon, but for now, I think I'm gonna post a downloadable link to this mix of mine -- just so you can play it at your leisure...

Love
AC

Voice Mail

+1 313 254 0774... If you feel the need to say hello, and can't reach me @ home...

Love AC

WTF Moment...

It’s 5 o’clock in the damn morning.  I haven’t been to sleep.  I’m sad.  I miss my mother.  I miss her so much.  I’m lonely.  I wish I could just crawl into bed, lie in someone’s arms and cry.  I wish life wasn’t so short or fragile.  I’m scared.  I wonder when it’s my turn to die.  How many years do I have left on this earth?  What will I feel when it’s finally my time?  Will I even KNOW if I’m dead?  What is my life for?

Right now, I feel so inadequate.  I feel unlovable because I’m overweight.  I feel like an old, tired weak soul.  Like a salmon who’s just finished swimming upstream; I’m tired.  All these years of being mocked!  All these years of fighting for acceptance!  I feel worthless, like I don’t count.  I’m good enough to laugh at, but not good enough to love?  Do I not deserve love?  

It’s now 5:20.  The kids wake up in almost 2 hours to get ready for school.  Jevon still hasn’t done his homework, so I’ll have to supervise him before he leaves.  I’m so tired; I want to sleep.  I’m scared to sleep because if I do, I won’t wake up in time to see them off to school.  I guess I’ll just wait until 8 a.m., when everyone is gone.  I’ll leave Reno (my dog) to fend for herself in the house, and then I’ll go to bed.  I’m not answering my door.  I’m not answering my phone.  I’ll wake up hopefully in time to pick the kids up from school, but then I would’ve wasted my entire day.  No business will be taken care of.  Damn.  

What the hell made me stay up all night?  Chilling with my friends, boosting THEIR ego.  Spending time with them, hoping it would fill this void that I have within me.  I want to be loved.  I certainly won’t get love by hanging around with these half-ignorant straight motherfuckers all day.  Don’t get me wrong, gay people are no better.  However, I get sick of being the butt of all these “gay” jokes.  I hate that I have to explain to these stupid idiots that there is nothing WRONG with me, simply because I’m attracted to men.  These same dumb asses see NOTHING WRONG with two women being together.  

This Saturday, someone’s throwing a party called (and I quote) “WET PUSSY ON A SATURDAY NIGHT!”  I am SO not going to pay $20 to get into a party where I will be shunned, hated, and made to feel like an oddball for not enjoying “wet pussy.”  I hear that the next party will be called “BALLS ON YOUR CHIN.”  But I doubt that will fly well with stupid straight people – they can’t imagine or visualize something so “grotesque” as balls on anything – except wet pussy, of course.  

But I digress.  I could explain my point all day long, but in the end, who really cares?  In fact, I’m looking at the words I just typed, and I’m shaking my head at myself.  Why the hell am I even WRITING this?  And furthermore, why would I bother posting this in a blog?  Well, because of the simple reason:  I HAVE FEELINGS.  I cannot be strong all the time.  I cannot smile 24/7.  I cry.  I hurt.  And sometimes, I just need to let that shit OUT.

I can’t believe I’m even afraid to post this on my MySpace blog, in fear that it will clash with the many comments I’ve received.  “Good music, AC.  Keep it up!”  I feel like I’m supposed to keep up some damn image, in order to sell records.  If I’m “real,” it will alienate my fans.  FUCK THAT!  Y’all know my records.  You’ve heard my productions.  Now, if Madonna can post her gottdamn toilet habits on HER blog, then damnit, I can post my true feelings on mine.  

Well, it’s near 6 a.m.  I guess I should end this blog for now.  Hopefully soon, I’ll feel better.  

AC

Reconstruction, Day 1

"I know some of y'all feel me... I know some of y'all don't... But right now, it don't even matter... Cuz this is REAL... This is REAL LIFE... And you don't know unless you've been THERE..." (from "Brokedown Blues")

I promised myself that at 33, I'd start looking out for me. Alright y'all... This is day one. And so what, my birthday was August 19th... I'm starting TODAY! :-)

Right now, I'm supplying my body with protein shakes and water -- that's all I ate today... In about 5 minutes, I'm eating a huge salad. From what I hear, I can eat all the veggies I want, so I plan to -- whenever I get a craving. We'll see how it goes...

I dusted off the ol' exercise equipment. Plugged up the treadmill... Babies, it's time. I won't even bother to tell you my "starting point," because you'll be scared for me. Just know that I woke up this morning, and was like ''YOU KNOW WHAT?! F*CK IT..."

You see, I uploaded a few videos last night on YouTube -- I think I'm addicted to it. LOL... But I saw the skinny AC, vs. the CURRENT AC... Holy sh*t... I went from one extreme to the other! Mind you, this isn't a quest to get skinny again -- I could care less about that bullsh*t. I'm just hoping to get back down to a HEALTHY weight.

Check THIS one...

Then check THIS one...

...This is day one, y'all. I'm a little scared, but a LOT motivated. Wish me luck...

Love, AC