Four more days till the big day. AC, Version 3.2. And for those who aren't quite smart enough to figure it out, it's my birthday on Friday -- I'll be 32 years old. So much shit is happening here lately, I haven't even had time to think straight. For example: Tomorrow night, I'm spinning with DJ Trench at a club somewhere in Detroit. What's the name of the club? I don't know. WHERE is the club? I don't know... And oh yeah. I'm not getting paid. That much I DO know!
Money, where the hell ARE you? Won't you come into my life? Jeez! Something needs to happen soon, because I'm struggling BIG TIME right now... Credit cards are being denied, things are getting shut off... Robbing Peter to pay Paul... And yes, I'm bitching about it. While I'm not one to sit and wallow in my own sorrows, you may be asking "why don't you do something about it?!" That's what I'm trying to do here. Fucking distributors aren't paying on time! And it's causing a trickle-down effect. I've got people to pay, and these damn distributors don't wanna act right! "Yes, we owe you money, but NO we aren't gonna pay you..." WTF?! 30-day consignments turn into 60 or 90 day nightmares.
Sometimes it's easier to just get a fucking day job. But I refuse. Why, you ask? Because I was always told that if you have a "Plan B., " then you'll always fall back on it. Mind you, nearly every one of my producer "friends" have day jobs as well. I guess this is why... I just couldn't do it -- I haven't had a "normal 9-5" since 2001. I'm sorry. I cannot be the "diva" who flips burgers by day. I CANNOT. I'm also afraid to start working somewhere else, because (1) I'll have to dedicate 100% of myself to that job, as opposed to my music, and (2) Once I get good and settled into a job, I'll have to leave because I have a gig somewhere.
Mind you, there are so many ways to make money in this industry -- not just from record sales. There's always remixing, licensing, touring, royalties, publishing, etc. But then comes the so-called "favors" from so-called "friends." Hey AC, can I get a remix? I can't pay you, but... !!!!!!!
That just kills me. Yes, I'm feeling hateful right now... Shit. I STILL haven't gotten paid from my last show in France. (Batofar) And I'm sick and tired of asking repeatedly, "hey dude... where's my fucking money?!" I don't ask like THAT, of course. But come on... This is the SAME trip where my fucking CAMERA got stolen, and I wound up playing to an empty club, due to being booked the same night Laurent Garnier was playing at Club Rex. To top things off, I basically came home empty-handed. That was the fucking start of my downhill decsent.
I'm spending my own money to press up DETREVOLUTION. And only God knows how I'm gonna make this happen. My royalty checks have been a joke, lately. Although it's nobody's fault for that -- I can't expect to live (like a king) from my own tunes FOREVER. So I knew it was a matter of time before those checks started to dwindle down. That's a simple solution. Make MORE RECORDS! I can do that. But if every other part of the circle was just as simple, I'd be GREAT! People talk to me about P&D (Pressing and Distribution) deals. Mind you, I have a "name." I make good records. But these fucking companies are a JOKE!!! "Vinyl sales are kinda slow, and we can't afford to take on any new labels..." And that's just one of many excuses I've heard. I wouldn't be pissed, if people would just stop dangling carrots in my face! Stop telling me that I can have a P&D deal, only to back out later.
You know, I was even willing to let Wallshaker Music become an affiliate label of ********. But I'm sure you know about the crazy contracts they tried to offer me. And what happened when I tried ASKING for what I wanted/deserved? Silence. Poof... They're unavailable. Aaron who? Fuck those muthafuckas for treating me like a second-class recording artist. Fuck them for trying to steal every ounce of publishing I own. FUCK them for dangling carrots in my face, only to pull back the carrot and laugh at me for taking the bait.
My mind is racing right now. While I don't blame other people for my problems, I DO acknowledge that I wouldn't have many of these problems if I weren't so dependent on OTHER people to act right.
I'm gonna say a big prayer tonight. Then I'm going to bed. Lord, it's all in your hands now. I can't do this...