Happy New Year

I feel so guilty... I have been so busy doing "some of everything," I had no time to update the blog. But I promise I'm still here, y'all. I didn't go anywhere. :-)

In fact, I haven't been overseas in a little while -- I'm starting to MISS the traveling! I've been doing lots of shows here in Detroit, however... I admit it's kinda nice to drive to and from my gigs, as opposed to taking planes.

Tomorrow (tonight) I have another gig --a NYE set. I can't wait to make this happen... 2007 should be a much more promising year for me, although I feel like I've been blessed quite a bit this year. I won't recap -- I'll let you backtrack and do that... But thank you all for checking up on me. For those of you who called me, thank you. It was nice to speak to you!!! For all you Myspacers out there, thanks for checking out my tracks and leaving me those nice comments. I DO hope to see more of you in the upcoming year...

So what to expect from AC in 2007??

For starters, WALLSHAKER is getting a much needed boost. I'll be releasing more records on my label, and hopefully they'll be a lot easier to find. I'll revamp the website, etc... Remember folks, this is a LOT of work! I love it, but yes, it is MUCH WORK.

I even plan to have my new album finished for release this summer... If I have my way, I'll have a MAY release date -- we'll see what happens.

Long story short, I'm doing my best to stay "out there..." You'll see my name, face and music a lot more this year. And OF COURSE, I will take time out of my busy life to write in this blog. I didn't realize that so many people were reading it...

Thank you for 2006, and I look forward to 2007...
Love Always,
Aaron-Carl

Rated AUX

So, I've finally finished my remix for AUX 88's "Rated AUX." I'm a little nervous, but then again, I'm ALWAYS nervous when submitting a remix. Will they like it? Mind you, they gave me free reign to do what I wanted to do. Their exact words, "Give us YOU." BABY, I certainly did. It's along the electro/ghettotech genres, in the vein of "For the Money." In fact, I used those same filtered pianos (different arrangements of course!), just to let everyone know (without saying) HEY... AARON-CARL did this remix! I don't know exactly when they're releasing it, BUT... I know it's soon, and I KNOW my fans will enjoy it.

As for ICAN, I got the test pressings for the "Si Se Puede" EP -- remember "Tribute to Cesar Chavez?" New title, same hot track. The label copies will be ready in nearly 2 weeks. WOOOOO!!! In the meantime, I'm dropping this fucking record everywhere I go. You KNOW I am... :-)

SKY has been licensed to Superb Entertainment Recordings (UK). The original, the old remixes, PLUS the NEW remixes have all been licensed. Does this mean no white-colored vinyl from Wallshaker? Unfortunately, yes... HOWEVER, Instead of SKY being released on my label, I still have room (and money) to finally release OASIS as a single! Smart move, eh? Absolutely. It's so funny, because now I'll have records all over the place. I will definitely be seen, heard and felt in 2007. YES!

Speaking of SKY, once I sign the contract, I'll stop selling the downloads on my site. SUPERB is looking at a March/April release date, so if you don't have it now, you'd better get it before it's GONE. (If I didn't know any better, I'd say this sounds like a typical marketing plan from "U KNOW WHO..." But nope. It's the real deal. Promise.)

Hmmm... What else is there? Oh yeah... I broke down and bought a Nintendo Wii -- I was gonna wait until Christmas, but I KNEW they'd be all sold out. Mel wanted one, Stefan and Jevon wanted one, and once I saw the commercials, I wanted one too. I love it so far. I don't think I'll be buying the Playstation 3... I WILL however, see if there's a software update to my Iriver H320. (I still love that little machine!)

That's it for now... Kisses and love!
AC

Giving Thanks

TODAY I GIVE THANKS...

For being alive and healthy enough to write this blog...

For knowing that even though my family is sometimes distant and estranged, when it all comes down to it, we're STILL family...

For the success that I've earned throughout the years..

For the lessons that I've learned so far -- and for all the lessons I still have to learn...

For all of you -- my family, friends and fans... (and for the haters, evildoers and backstabbers too -- I KNOW you're just doing your job...)

For the power of music and the beauty of song...

For the goodness of God.

Oh yeah... and for giving me the ability to laugh at the dumbest of jokes, like the one I just heard recently:

Q: What's the difference between a STRAIGHT horse and a GAY horse?

A: The straight horse eats hay... The gay horse eats "Heeeyy!" (snap!)


Have a happy and blessed holiday, y'all.
Love,
Aaron-Carl

Mommy

Dear Mommy:

It was exactly one year ago today that you left this earth. It was a day I will never forget. Yes, everything happens for a reason... You told me that NOBODY lives on this earth forever, and yes even you, one day, would leave. I grew up knowing that one day, I'd have to face this reality. But regardless of what I knew in my heart, I wasn't ready to let you go. I admit it. I'm selfish. I miss you, and I wish you were here.

Just hours before you died, you and I had a conversation. Remember, I was at the airport, and like ALWAYS, I'd call you (or you'd call my cell phone) to let you know the status. "Hi Mommy, I'm on the ground in THIS country..." And I could always hear the joy in your voice. Although you wished you could travel WITH me, our phone calls were the next best thing. This phone call was no different. I was still at Detroit Metro Airport, waiting to board the plane. I promised (like always) to call as soon as I landed in Germany. When we hung up, I boarded the plane and I was HAPPY. No matter how nervous I was about flying, I KNEW that you loved me and I made you proud. Because of this, I knew I'd be okay.

Damn that cell phone -- it didn't work when I arrived in Germany... I figured I'd take a short nap and call you from the hotel when I woke up. When the people woke me up with an urgent message to call home, I REALLY didn't think too much of it. (Oh, the kids are fighting... Jevon got in trouble at school... something like that...) And when I noticed it was MELVA's number, it still didn't click to me that anything BAD was wrong... She was calm when she said, "Boogie, you need to come home." And then I asked her why... I'll NEVER forget her voice when she said "Mommy just died." Those words hit me so hard! But I was so dumbfounded, all I could manage to say was "WHAT?!" That's when Melva broke down. I knew she was trying to be strong, but she couldn't hold it in any longer. ...And I was helpless.

God bless Marcus, Viola, Georg and Pirahnahead for being there with me. They tried to get me a flight home that same day, but it was impossible. I know it costed nearly $1000 to fix my ticket to come home the NEXT day, but you know I got home as soon as I could.

I came to your house the next morning. Melva was already there, waiting for me. Even then, things didn't seem real. Your room was still the same -- in fact, everything was the same except you weren't there. I don't know WHERE this inner strength came from, but I just remember saying "we're gonna be alright. We can get through this." Moments later, while I was standing in the living room, Angie walked into the house. When she saw me, she let out a heart-wrenching scream that still haunts me today. I found myself being strong for her as well. Do you know how hard that was? I had to be strong for MY older sister!

But like you taught me, I tried to handle this situation with dignity and grace. We made up the obituary. We picked out the casket. We made the funeral arrangements. We tried to get David out of jail, so at least he could pay his last respects. At this point, I still hadn't seen you. I didn't see the ambulance take you out of the house. I didn't see you at the hospital when they officially pronounced you dead. I didn't identify your body at the morgue. All of this happened while I was still in Germany -- but again, I know everything happens for a reason. If I was at HOME and got the call that you died, I would've NEVER made it to your house. They would've had to bury me with you. OR if I was the one who discovered your laying dead in your bed -- I truly believe I would've died as well. The grief would've been too much.

That Wednesday -- the day BEFORE Thanksgiving, I saw you for the first time since you died. You were laying in the casket, dressed in white. You looked like you were sleeping. You didn't look like you were in pain. You didn't look afraid... At first I wasn't sure if I could handle the sight of seeing you laying there lifeless, but I was okay. I sat with you. I held your hand. I kissed your cheek. I said silent prayers... I was truly okay.

Thursday/Thanksgiving was bittersweet... I knew that this would be the last time I saw you before the actual funeral. I noticed that David was able to come to the funeral home and visit you for a while. The police put me through so much bullshit when I tried making arrangements for him. First off, I had to pay some crazy fee -- just because, from what they say, him being able to visit the funeral home was a PRIVELEGE. Then he could ONLY come to the funeral home when nobody else was there -- the place had to be closed, and if anyone (ANYONE AT ALL) was there, he would be escorted away. And although it was at the guard's discretion, David would ONLY be allowed to spend 5 - 15 minutes with you! Is that insane or what? He wouldn't be allowed to attend the actual funeral service -- which just didn't seem fair. But again, thank God he was able to see you at all. I saw his signature in the guest book. I laughed a little when he wrote on the address line, "YOU KNOW..."

FRIDAY was the day of truth. We had the family hour and the funeral at the same time, which is something I'm not used to. This trip "down the aisle" was much different than Daddy's funeral. At Daddy's funeral I stared at the ground, all the way until I reached the casket. When I looked up and saw my father's dead body laying there, I broke down. I couldn't bear to watch him, so I spent the entire time at the funeral in Angie's arms. I wasn't watching when they closed his casket. I couldn't... But THIS TIME, I was determined NOT to let that happen again. I walked up to your casket, saw you lying there, and I was STRONG. I knew this would be the last time I ever saw you (here on earth), and I wanted to make sure I imprinted your "last image" in my mind forever. (I would've taken a picture, but I think that's SO TACKY to take pictures of a dead person's body at their funeral -- who wants to look at that?)

During the entire service, I watched you until it was time for the family to give their remarks -- Melva and I had each prepared a little something to say. I went first. The first words out of my mouth were: "Thank you Jesus." And just in case somebody misunderstood me, I continued: "I think I'll say it again... THANK YOU JESUS..." That statement alone got a rise out of the church.

I thanked Jesus for your time on earth. I reminded everyone that you PREPARED me for this moment a long time ago, back when I was little. You taught me to take care of myself, because ONE DAY, I'd have to live without you. I'll never forget the thunderous response when I said to the church: "Polio did not take her... Breast Cancer did not take her... No man or woman killed her... GOD CALLED HER!" And at that moment, I felt lucky. I felt lucky because I didn't feel like I missed out on anything with you. I KNEW IN MY HEART that you loved me. You never let me forget it. I KNEW that YOU KNEW that I loved YOU. I've said it before and I'll say it again. YOU were my loudest cheerleader; my biggest fan. I was PROUD to be the only artist/DJ to perform on stage @ the DEMF, with my MOTHER on stage with me -- wearing your "Aaron-Carl" T-shirt. (I still have that video; I watch it sometimes.)

Anyway, it was time to say goodbye. I was NOT gonna sit there and pray, so the staff could close your casket while my eyes were closed... I stood right up there. I stood in front of you. I gave you one last kiss on the cheek. I held your hand one last time. I paid no attention to Regina as she cried "that's my SISTER in there!" before she fainted. I glanced at Granny who was also screaming, "Pat! Pat! Pat!... It hurts so bad!" I know she was only feeling the pain of a mother who lost her firstborn child, but again, I couldn't focus on HER. I focused on YOU, the woman whose body I was born from. YOU, who had passed the torch of life onto me. My eyes were frozen on your face as the men gently folded the covers over your body (leaving only your face uncovered), and slowly closed the casket. I said," Goodbye Mommy. I'll see you later."


You were buried that Friday, November 25, 2005 -- the day before your BIRTHDAY... I thought it would be poetic to bury you on your actual birthday, but some of the family members thought it was distasteful. I figured it wasn't worth the argument.

Thank you for leaving us some of your retirement money. I remember you saying you'd put aside some money for us, just in case something ever happened to you. I was so selfish then! I remember saying I didn't WANT the money -- not if it meant that you' have to die first. Well I admit, the money DID come in handy. We paid to bury you, of course. We paid for 2 lawyers to help get David out of jail. Of course we had to wait until we got your death certificate before we got any money -- so by the time the death certificate came, trust me, I had to play CATCH-UP! It's funny because I had to use the money you left me to pay my bills (because I'd used my bill money to help pay for the arrangements, etc). So I didn't get to be all "flashy" and buy a new car, etc... It reminded me of growing up in Pine Ridge (a.k.a., the hood). We did what we had to do, and we got by. That's what I'm doing now. I took that money as a symbol of YOU helping your children out, one last time. After that, we were truly on our own.

Today, I'm doing okay. I'm stuggling a bit, but I'm getting by. I'm using a lot of YOUR lessons to make it through the days. I had to give up my beautiful black Pontiac Aztek, for a more modest (damn near ghetto) Geo Prizm -- among other things, but I'm taking it all in stride. I remember YOU struggling to raise us. It was hard as hell -- in fact, at times it seemed impossible, but we made it. Today, I'm alive. I know how to make it during the hard times I face -- because I'm patterning myself after YOU. Thank you Mommy.

All the stuff you had to overcome in this life. I KNOW you're a lot better off now.

Tonight, we're all supposed to meet up at Granny's house for some kind of "family prayer." I'm not feeling it, but I'm going anyway. And even though you were Granny's daughter; Regina, Michelle and Ronald's sister... It still feels different to me. Out of all your children -- Angie, me, Melva and David -- I'M the one who looks EXACTLY like you. I scare myself sometimes because I look in the mirror, and see YOU. Or I hear myself talking sometimes, and it sounds exactly like YOU -- tone, phrasing and all. And while this was great while you were alive, it HURTS me now. And I don't wanna go to Granny's house tonight, just to hear them say "you sound/look just like your momma!" "You sound/look JUST LIKE PAT!" Well, on the bright side, we ARE rather beautiful, aren't we? hehehehe...

I miss you Mommy. I just wanted to write this letter, because I KNOW you can hear me. I KNOW you can feel me. And while I'm sitting here right now, physically alone, I hope to feel your spirit wrapped around me. Especially today...

Love Always,
Boogie

Busted During a Raid on Saturday Night

It was nearly 1 a.m.. I was hired/scheduled to DJ @ 2... Folks were partying in the basement of a huge apartment building -- two rooms of electronic music. Totally underground -- I don't have to explain, right?

The promoters tried their best to shut everyone up and keep us contained in the basement. (Trying getting a roomful of intoxicated young folks to shut the fuck up was nearly impossible, by the way...)

Obviously panicked, one of the sound crews decided to take their equipment and leave -- before any shit started. My friend Todd and I quickly decided to follow suit. (Fuck, the one night I DIDN'T drive myself... I rode with Benji, who was nearly impossible to find for a while...) After we convinced Benji to leave with us, we made our way up to the front entrance.

...in a flash...

"PUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HANDS UP ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD! DO IT NOW!!! DO YOU HEAR ME, BITCHES? I SAID THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD!!! RIGHT NOW!!!"

Then I realized that one of the officers was speaking directly to me. Although my cell phone was in my hand (Thank God that Todd was holding my record bag), I was scared to put it in my pocket, or drop it on the floor... Those Detroit police were angry, and itching for someone to arrest and/or shoot. With the fear of God in me, I put my hands (still clutching my cell phone) on the back of my head -- and thanked the heavens my shit was on vibrate, cuz lord knows what would've happened if my phone actually RANG...

They made us stand in a single file line; hands still on our heads. One by one, they asked us our age. It was so surreal, but when I heard Todd say "27," standing in front or me, I quickly mustered "33" -- while praying to God they didn't sense my fear. I heard one of the female officers verbally assaulting Benji -- who was a few people ahead of me. Benji said "yes ma'am," but since his voice sounds like he has a perpetual cold, I guess she thought he said "yes babe." All of a sudden you hear, "Babe? My name ain't babe, bitch!" (She said a bunch of other shit, but my only thought was, "I can't believe this is really happening!")

I felt for Benji. I felt for Todd. I felt for the guy who came all the way up here from Columbus, Ohio. I prayed that my new friend Lisa wasn't still at the party -- she came especially to see me... I felt embarrassed for the owner of the building. I felt fearful that some loudmouthed rebellious person would say something that would get us ALL thrown in jail. I was sad because usually in situations like this, the first person I could call was my mother...

I didn't get to DJ. I didn't get paid for the night. And after what seemed like FOREVER standing there, sweating my ass off, shivering from tired muscles and frazzled nerves, still cluthing my cell phone, I heard them direct us all into the basement. Guys on one side, girls on the other. I tried my best not to look into anyone's eyes...

Those of us who had our IDs were allowed to (carefully) retrieve them with our RIGHT hand, while keeping our left hands on our head. (Fuck ME for being left-handed.) Again, another eternity passed -- the cops threatening to beat the shit out of anyone who dared to speak, make any moves, etc...

So now I'm stading there clutching my cell phone AND my wallet, with both hands on my head -- feeling like a damn animal...

A few officers began writing tickets (I didn't realize at first that there were so many officers!) with the IDs they'd taken from us. I knew this was a process that that could take all night -- there were so many of us down there in that basement... Person after person, being charged with the same crime of "Loitering in a Place of Illegal Occupation."

After the folks received their ticket (and accompanying lecture/insult), they were allowed to leave one at a time -- hands still on their heads until they were out of the building.
It seemed like ANOTHER eternity before I finally heard "RAGLAND!" I answered again quickly, "YES?" I saw the all-too familiar look of disgust from one of the officers -- the look (and accompanying snicker) that says, "SISSY..." But I didn't give a fuck. As long as I wasn't going to jail, call me all the sissies you want.

A female officer (who surprisingly wasn't bitchy towards me) read me my charge, gave me my ticket and sent me on my way. It took all I had to NOT look into her eyes, so she could see my hatred. I looked at the ground, hands on my head and navigated my way up the stairs, down the dark hallway, up another set of stairs, and escorted out of a different entrance from which I came.

I had to wait and request permission to re-enter the building and retrieve my record bag -- they made Todd drop it in the hallway before we headed for the basement. I met Benji outside and we headed for home, shivering and depressed the entire way.

Now I have a court date (we all do) of November 21, for "Immediate Arraignment." I am SOOO fighting this bitch... And before I accept an offer to DJ at another gottdamn party in Detroit, I will remember this night.

AC

Thank U

Ahh, I'm home. The radio show was pretty fun! I think it's safe to say that Wallshaker was very well represented? HAHAHA!!! But my BIGGEST surprise was after I'd gotten home and checked my e-mails. I sold quite a few DETREVOLUTION albums today! I hadn't even made the announcement that Detrevolution was re-stocked yet! So humbly I say THANK YOU to everyone who purchased this CD. It truly means a LOT to me...

About the radio show, I TRIED recording it -- my computer shut down after so many minutes of being idle; damn power saver. I forgot to disable that feature before I left for the studio. Oh well... I'm sure I'll find a copy of it floating around on the Internet. (Orcinus, did you hear me?)

Oh yeah.. and for those who asked, my NEW telephone arrives tomorrow. Yay!

Did I tell you how much I LOVE my Iriver H320? I'm hoping that I get an H340 for Christmas. (The International version... Fuck the US version -- it sucks.) But it's not even Halloween yet. I won't place my bid until later, HAHAHA!

Alright folks.. it's nearly 4 a.m. I'm slap-happy. I won't eat before going to bed, so I'll grab myself a small glass of apple juice, and nod off to sleep.

Till next time...
AC

AC on the Radio again

LORD... how could I forget to announce my return to radio? 89.3, I'm the featured guest. You know I'm about to BRING the HEAT!!!

http://whfr.fm Of course, you can stream it live... I'll be there @ Midnight.

I'll write more when I get home... I have to be at the station in less than 2 hours! YIKES!

AC

Dropped that bitch...

...this is SOOO silly, but sooo true. And if it didn't just happen to me, I wouldn't believe it.

After a long night (DJing), I stopped @ a friend's house before heading home. Lord, I had to pee so bad... So while I'm standing there ENJOYING this wonderful moment, I hear a loud "PLOP!" inside the toilet. I opened my eyes and looked down...

OH HELL NAW...

My cell phone fell from my jacket pocket, straight into the toilet. My gut instinct told me NOT to reach into the toilet to grab it, but to get help -- but I couldn't invite someone else into the bathroom right after I just peed... Ewww. So, I did what any cell phone lover would do... I reached INTO the toilet and grabbed for my phone. Big mistake. The phone went further down, until it was out of my reach. Now mind you, I couldn't stop laughing at myself -- hand immersed in a toilet full of pee, chasing after a cell phone that I'm SURE no longer worked...

So silly me. I thought, "oh, the phone's too big to go down the drain... I'll just go get help, but FIRST, let me at least flush the PEE down..."

"flush..."

OH SHIT! The phone went completely down the drain, gone forever... Now somewhere in sewer-land, someone's gonna get a nice little surprise. Can you imagine sitting on the toilet one day, and all of a sudden you hear, "ANSWER THE PHONE, CHILD! HURRY IT UP! AARON-CARL, YOUR PHONE IS RINGING!!!" (That's my custom ringer...)

So in my best Florida Evans voice, I repeat this mantra: "Damn, DAMN, DAMN!!!"

Whoo, I just had to tell somebody. Now I'm off to bed. I'll replace the phone tomorrow -- maybe I'll tell them it got stolen? LMBFAO...

New DJ Mix, etc

Hey there:

Folks have been asking me for a DJ mix... So alright, I made one to put online.
Hope you enjoy it, definitely!!!

As for everything else, I'm doing alright. Haven't really been speaking to too many people lately, just because I've been going thru my reconstruction phase. OOOH, people get BITCHY without carbs! LOL... So tonight, my friend Todd is coming over to bring me pizza -- YES, pizza. I'm eating pizza tonight because damnit, I deserve it. Tomorrow morning, I'll resume my "rabbit food" diet... Fruits, Vegetables, Water... Multivitamin... a protein shake here and there... No meat, no dairy, no bread...

Hmmm.. what else is there? Besides the super-sexy Malaysian DJ who seems to have taken a liking to me?

Oh yes... "SKY" -- I hope people don't sleep on this record. I'm hoping that all my real fans download it, love it and apprecite it. I'm still working on the distribution, so my records won't be so hard to find. (Just PLEASE don't make me go through "you know where..." I really don't make any money thru them...)

But anyway... I feel good today. I'll write more soon, but for now, I think I'm gonna post a downloadable link to this mix of mine -- just so you can play it at your leisure...

Love
AC

Voice Mail

+1 313 254 0774... If you feel the need to say hello, and can't reach me @ home...

Love AC

WTF Moment...

It’s 5 o’clock in the damn morning.  I haven’t been to sleep.  I’m sad.  I miss my mother.  I miss her so much.  I’m lonely.  I wish I could just crawl into bed, lie in someone’s arms and cry.  I wish life wasn’t so short or fragile.  I’m scared.  I wonder when it’s my turn to die.  How many years do I have left on this earth?  What will I feel when it’s finally my time?  Will I even KNOW if I’m dead?  What is my life for?

Right now, I feel so inadequate.  I feel unlovable because I’m overweight.  I feel like an old, tired weak soul.  Like a salmon who’s just finished swimming upstream; I’m tired.  All these years of being mocked!  All these years of fighting for acceptance!  I feel worthless, like I don’t count.  I’m good enough to laugh at, but not good enough to love?  Do I not deserve love?  

It’s now 5:20.  The kids wake up in almost 2 hours to get ready for school.  Jevon still hasn’t done his homework, so I’ll have to supervise him before he leaves.  I’m so tired; I want to sleep.  I’m scared to sleep because if I do, I won’t wake up in time to see them off to school.  I guess I’ll just wait until 8 a.m., when everyone is gone.  I’ll leave Reno (my dog) to fend for herself in the house, and then I’ll go to bed.  I’m not answering my door.  I’m not answering my phone.  I’ll wake up hopefully in time to pick the kids up from school, but then I would’ve wasted my entire day.  No business will be taken care of.  Damn.  

What the hell made me stay up all night?  Chilling with my friends, boosting THEIR ego.  Spending time with them, hoping it would fill this void that I have within me.  I want to be loved.  I certainly won’t get love by hanging around with these half-ignorant straight motherfuckers all day.  Don’t get me wrong, gay people are no better.  However, I get sick of being the butt of all these “gay” jokes.  I hate that I have to explain to these stupid idiots that there is nothing WRONG with me, simply because I’m attracted to men.  These same dumb asses see NOTHING WRONG with two women being together.  

This Saturday, someone’s throwing a party called (and I quote) “WET PUSSY ON A SATURDAY NIGHT!”  I am SO not going to pay $20 to get into a party where I will be shunned, hated, and made to feel like an oddball for not enjoying “wet pussy.”  I hear that the next party will be called “BALLS ON YOUR CHIN.”  But I doubt that will fly well with stupid straight people – they can’t imagine or visualize something so “grotesque” as balls on anything – except wet pussy, of course.  

But I digress.  I could explain my point all day long, but in the end, who really cares?  In fact, I’m looking at the words I just typed, and I’m shaking my head at myself.  Why the hell am I even WRITING this?  And furthermore, why would I bother posting this in a blog?  Well, because of the simple reason:  I HAVE FEELINGS.  I cannot be strong all the time.  I cannot smile 24/7.  I cry.  I hurt.  And sometimes, I just need to let that shit OUT.

I can’t believe I’m even afraid to post this on my MySpace blog, in fear that it will clash with the many comments I’ve received.  “Good music, AC.  Keep it up!”  I feel like I’m supposed to keep up some damn image, in order to sell records.  If I’m “real,” it will alienate my fans.  FUCK THAT!  Y’all know my records.  You’ve heard my productions.  Now, if Madonna can post her gottdamn toilet habits on HER blog, then damnit, I can post my true feelings on mine.  

Well, it’s near 6 a.m.  I guess I should end this blog for now.  Hopefully soon, I’ll feel better.  

AC

Reconstruction, Day 1

"I know some of y'all feel me... I know some of y'all don't... But right now, it don't even matter... Cuz this is REAL... This is REAL LIFE... And you don't know unless you've been THERE..." (from "Brokedown Blues")

I promised myself that at 33, I'd start looking out for me. Alright y'all... This is day one. And so what, my birthday was August 19th... I'm starting TODAY! :-)

Right now, I'm supplying my body with protein shakes and water -- that's all I ate today... In about 5 minutes, I'm eating a huge salad. From what I hear, I can eat all the veggies I want, so I plan to -- whenever I get a craving. We'll see how it goes...

I dusted off the ol' exercise equipment. Plugged up the treadmill... Babies, it's time. I won't even bother to tell you my "starting point," because you'll be scared for me. Just know that I woke up this morning, and was like ''YOU KNOW WHAT?! F*CK IT..."

You see, I uploaded a few videos last night on YouTube -- I think I'm addicted to it. LOL... But I saw the skinny AC, vs. the CURRENT AC... Holy sh*t... I went from one extreme to the other! Mind you, this isn't a quest to get skinny again -- I could care less about that bullsh*t. I'm just hoping to get back down to a HEALTHY weight.

Check THIS one...

Then check THIS one...

...This is day one, y'all. I'm a little scared, but a LOT motivated. Wish me luck...

Love, AC

Eve of 33

Goodbye 32…  This year, what did I do?

This past year of my life has been nothing short of eventful…  I’ve grown so much, in so many ways.  I released DETREVOLUTION, which is probably the best collection of work I’ve ever finished.  Thank God my mother got to hear it, and love it, before she died.  

I’ve traveled to different countries, got to make new friends.  I’ve reached people all over the world with my music – which makes me feel SO GOOD!  I’ve discovered that there IS life after pain…  There IS life after heartache.  I’ve discovered my inner beauty.  I’ve learned to accept the things I truly can’t change.  

I’ve learned to stand up for myself.  I’ve learned not to let society keep me down.  I’ve learned that my sexuality is NOT a curse, but a blessing – and even so, it is only one of MANY definitions of me.  

I took some time and read my blog from its beginning – which was roughly this time last year.  I SEE how much I’ve grown.  I SEE all the pain that I’ve gone through.  I’ve SEEN the disappointments, the questions, the JOYS, the laughter…  I even saw the promise I made to myself about losing 100 pounds…  Well, that didn’t happen.  HOWEVER…  I’ve discovered that I don’t have to be lazy.  (I admit, I was…)  I understand that it’s not EASY to become “back to my old skinny self…”  This shit’s gonna take WORK…  and PERSISTANCE…  And I can’t just stop after 1 week of a good diet – I drove myself crazy every time I denied myself some food…  No carbs?  Forget it.  NO MEAT?  OH NO, honey…  forget about it.

Although I will say that I’ve discovered that when I eat HEALTHIER foods, like salads, etc…  It’s not so bad.  I’ve eaten enough junk in my lifetime.  I can start doing my body good.

33 is coming fast – only HOURS away…  and I’m not gonna get that “midnight phone call” from Mommy, wishing me a happy birthday – but I got through Christmas, New Year’s, MOTHER’S day (thank you Jesus) – I’m praying for the strength to get through this as well…

With everything being said, I’m ending this blog tonight with this:  To those of you who take time to actually read this blog…  To those of you who have left comments or sent me e-mails, or phone calls…  I appreciate you.  I THANK you.  Thank you for sharing your time with me.  

Let us continue to inspire each other this year.

I respect, appreciate, cherish, and am thankful for you all…

Love
AC

So Excited

 

I am so excited about this, I could just scream…  

“SKY: The Silver Lining Remixes” will be released digitally in two special editions…  The DETROIT DIGITAL VINYL edition and the WALLSHAKER ONLINE edition.  Each edition has its own exclusive bonus track.  Mind you, this is in ADDITION to the actual vinyl release, which will come sometime shortly after these are made available online.  By the way, did I mention that the online editions will be available on my birthday, Saturday, August 19th?  

Right now, everything’s happening behind the scenes.  I was supposed to keep quiet about it, but I CAN’T!!!  I’m too excited…  Especially about the bonus tracks!  Samples are on the way – I just couldn’t hold it in any longer.  I had to tell somebody…

Speaking of DDV…  I’ve decided to climb aboard.  I met with them yesterday, did an interview which will be made into a podcast…  I even saw “you know who…”  Although he spoke to everyone around, EXCEPT me…  I replied “you could at LEAST say HI to me, before you leave!”  He just gave me the most god-awful, evil look you could imagine…  It was like he hated me.  Why is that?  

On any other day, I would’ve let that bother me.  But yesterday, no…  I couldn’t.  I was feeling TOO happy about this new single coming out.  It’s going to be a huge success, I can feel it in my bones.  

Well, more news to come soon.  Everything’s coming together so quickly…  My birthday party is gonna be FABULOUS…  There’s the radio interviews, the DJ gigs, the new singles…  Now if ONLY I could have great sex.  But maybe that’s asking a bit too much?  LOL!!!  

Ahhh, love 2 love u, baby!!!
AC        

On the Radio

...Because I just wanted you to know...

Monday - Aug 14th, 2006,

Aaron-Carl and Trench guest on the Next Level Radio show on 89.3 fm from 11:30pm to 1:30 am (EST).

You can stream live from the web here:
http://whfr.fm/index.php?page=show_info

Call in at 1-800-585-4322 Ext.9676 to give them some shout outs... Who knows, you might end up live on the radio too!

PS: you KNOW I'll be playing some new, unreleased SURPRISE tracks during this show, don't you? Y'all should check it out -- via radio or the net. I can't wait...

AC

Curious...

How do you feel about me?
Truly think about your answer, and let me know.
...because I'm curious.

Love
AC

ELPJ - Whatever...

A friend of mine sent me this link, as he was all excited that vinyl was going digital…  
http://www.elpj.com/

…After carefully reading that bullshit, I replied:

Alas, another bittersweet moment in vinyl history...

 For starters, the ELP appeals to the vinyl collector community -- it doesn't necessarily appeal to DJs.  It doesn't play colored vinyl at all.  You cannot manipulate the record the way a conventional turntable does, so forget about ever using it during a DJ set.  After extensive reading, the ONLY true advantage that the ELP has (in my opinion) is that the laser doesn't damage the vinyl...  That's it.  Let me also bring up a couple other key points:

1.  Laser = Digital.  Period.  Lasers do not transmit information -- they READ information.  Much akin to the CD, which is marketed as a DIGITAL medium.  The whole "analogue" sound is nothing more than a marketing ploy.  The sound quality -- while slightly improved, is still dependent upon many factors:  the age of the pressing, the thickness, the color, the coverall condition...

2.  Vinyl mastering is completely different than CD mastering!  You will NEVER be able to make a vinyl record that gives your more sound definition than a CD for THIS REASON alone!  Vinyl is a very limiting medium in itself!  The longer your side (of the record) is, the lower your overall vinyl volume will be.  Depending on your bass levels, the grooves can only be "so wide" on a record.  Thus, the more bass you have in your music (dance, hip hop, etc), the "shorter" your side has to be.  Otherwise, your quality will suffer greatly.  Do the research.  Find an old "classical" record, or one of those "long playing" spoken word albums.  Notice that you can fit nearly 22 minutes of music on one side.  And this is at 33.3 RPM.  The time is even less on a 45 RPM record – and we haven’t seen a 78 RPM record in decades, speaking of OBSOLETE!!!  For those of you who are old enough to remember, there USED to be records made at 16 RPM.  Hmmm…  Ever wonder why we don’t have these records anymore?  Now take one of the average 12-inch singles from today.  Each side is roughly 12 minutes or less per side -- sometimes even less.  People have one track per side for THIS REASON...  And anyone who knows how to master vinyl ALREADY KNOWS that the treble response can only be “so high” on a record – which is much lower than the treble response on a CD.  The record making process ADDS a certain amount of highs to the vinyl, just due to the machinery.  Too much treble, the cutting head (the needle used to make the grooves) gets too hot and explodes.  Furthermore, the closer you get to the center of the record, the more your highs have to be adjusted during mastering – again, it’s the limitation of the VINYL medium.  Why do you think the most bass-heavy tracks are usually FIRST on the record?  

3.  The ELP is sold with a de-clicker, which by the way is a DIGITAL machine.  Even if the ELP was truly analog, in order to fully rid yourself of the “clicks and pops,” you have to use their digital de-clicking machine.  

4.  A machine like this would force the entire vinyl record industry to change.  Someone would have to create a new way to master vinyl, to erase the limitations.  Colored records would be obsolete – and for those who can remember the odd shaped records, or the ones that play from the inside OUT – obsolete.  DJs would have to find a new way to actually manipulate and mix with these machines.  Forget about scratching and battle-style turntablism.  It ain’t happening with these machines…  

5.  Last but not least, the $15,000 price tag.  (Somebody’s been reading the Donald Trump MARKETING book, eh?)  For less than $1000, I can buy a USB turntable, copy the vinyl to my computer, buy a music editing program like SoundForge, a couple of those vinyl restoration (de-clicker, noise-reduction) plug-ins, and burn the music to a CD – which by the way, lasts up to 100 years with proper handling and care.  And at this price, I can even afford to make multiple backup copies of my discs – one for playing, one for storage, and one “just in case…”  

Don’t get me wrong.  The machine is cute.  It’s nice to know that it won’t further damage my vinyl with multiple plays – but again, my CDs won’t get damaged after multiple plays either.  I can buy a nice machine like the CDX or HDX, that lets me manipulate my music just like a vinyl 12-inch – they even come with the 12-inch turntable platter.    By the way, if you REALLY want to be impressed with the evolution of vinyl, try checking out the Numark HYBRID turnbables.  
http://www.numark.com/productoverviews/X2_overview.pdf  …now THAT’S something to get excited about!!!

Always,
Aaron-Carl

Sky Remix EP

So much has happened with the preparation of this record...  I'm trying my best to have it released by my birthday, August 19th...  SKY has been reconstructed by none other than Pirahnahead -- so you know it's going to be a musical journey like no other.  Terrence Parker offers a spiritually uplifting remix of his own.  ...and you KNOW there's a new version from yours truly, thank you very much!
Definitely a Wallshaker Music release...  And like I said, you'll find it on white vinyl (at least the limited edition).  I can't wait to offer this record to the world.  It's one of my most intimate, personal and SOULFUL songs I've ever made. 
That's it for now...  I just wanted to let you know what was coming very soon.
Much respect,
AC

That Feeling...

As Chante’ Moore sings in the background, “who’s gonna love me…  Will you?”  I feel her words.  That’s the question I seem to have been asking all my life…  Mel left today.  And I’m not talking about storming out in an argument…  I mean, he literally packed up his shit and LEFT.  No more riding the fence.  No more wondering “should I leave him and move on?”  He’s gone.  I’m free.  100%, bona fide, FREE…

… and I don’t know how I feel about that.  

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not talking about MEL at all!  I know for a fact that he doesn’t deserve me.  And Lord knows that I deserve someone who will love me THE WAY I NEED TO BE LOVED…  Now, where the fuck IS he?

I’m so afraid to start over.  Well, I take that back.  I’m not AFRAID…  I’m TIRED of starting over – but given yesterday’s “scare,” I guess I’m glad I’m still alive to be ABLE to start over!  LOL…  

I LOVE being in love…  I LOVE being held in someone’s arms.  I LOVE being kissed…  I LOVE “that feeling…”  Y’all know what I mean.  THAT feeling…  The feeling you get when he looks at you that certain way…  That INNER GLOW.  Mel and I lost that a LONG LONG LONG time ago, which is why I’m not really mourning that loss.  I’m just accepting the reality that he IS now truly gone…  And while I’m not expecting someone else to just come in and take his place, I admit…  I want a boyfriend.  I want all the benefits of having a boyfriend…  I want that special someone, to make ME feel special too.  

Fuck it…  I’m just gonna put it out there.  Special one, wherever you are, I’m HERE…  

Good night y’all…  I’m hungry and tired, but I just had to get this off my chest…

LOVE
AC

I'm Still Here...

To Whom It May Concern:

While I have gone through some unfortunate and crazy circumstances these past few days, I am not dead.  Early this morning (at around 5:30 a.m.), after ending my 5-year relationship (those who know me, know why…), I got into a car accident.  Fortunately, my car suffered more than I did.  Because of this accident, coupled with the fact that nobody could reach me, my friends assumed the worst…

After dealing with insurance companies, etc. for most of the day, I returned to my home to find people engaged in what I called “the funeral party.”  One of my best friends (a total drama queen) had logged into my Messenger accounts earlier today (my passwords were saved) and proceeded to tell the people on my list that I’d been killed in the accident.

Of course, I didn’t discover this until HOURS later when I got home, checked my e-mails and received a number of CONDOLENCES!!!  The message had already spread like wildfire, and while I’m touched by the number of people who showed concern, I’m a bit freaked out because I’m looking at MY name next to “Rest in Peace.”  Long story short, I’m a little bruised, a bit shaken up, but I’m alive.  

I don’t know exactly how to react to all of this, but I will say, since it’s at the front of my mind:  To those who expressed love, respect and concern for me while I was “dead,” please continue to express these same feelings while I’m still ALIVE.  (As my mother used to say when SHE was alive, “love me while I’m HERE!”)

On behalf of my drama queen best friend, I apologize for the misinformation…  I’m still here, and I’m so thankful things didn’t end up “the OTHER way…”

Alive and grateful,
Aaron-Carl

Awake...

I lie awake tonight;
hands waiting to be held,
shoulders begging to be massaged,
a body, longing to be close.

I lay awake tonight,
hoping tomorrow changes your mind,
and you finally notice...
I'm waiting for you.
The days keep going by
and I'm here waiting for you.
One day, you said...
You'll come to me.
One day..

But tonight, awake I lie,
holding onto the scent of you;
the desire burning within me
as we hugged goodbye...

For Your Ears Only

Well, I told you I'd let you hear some of what I was doing, didn't I? Alright, here goes...

1. Beautiful (unreleased as of now, but possibly for a new AC album?)
2. Betta Not (also unreleased -- can u believe I wrote and recorded BOTH these songs in the same day?!)
3. Detsitti Theme Song (1 of a couple versions -- there's also a House mix, which I adore -- but this one should be the one they use in their advertising...)
4. ICAN - Tribute to Cesar Chavez (AC Mix) (coming out this summer...)

Feel free to comment and such...
Love
AC

the plan...

I’m sitting at my computer, wondering what to write about first…  There’s been so much happening lately, I don’t know where to start.  I’ll start with yesterday…  Santiago (S2) and the gang came over to my house for dinner – it was very nice.  MMMM, I made my lovely pan-fried chicken, skin-on mashed potatoes (which are LOVELY, by the way), macaroni salad…  And the big finale:  My infamous, award-winning banana pudding.  MMMMMM!!!  But the highlight of the night?  Just being able to entertain people at my house…  It felt good.  

Terry Christopher and I got into a little fight, which is another reason why I’m not going to NYC tomorrow for the Outmusic Awards.  Yes, I’m nominated.  No, I’m not going.  Since I start shooting the scenes for the movie (which is now called “UNCUT”) tomorrow, I guess it’s alright.  But gottdamn that Terry…  Out of the 4 remixes I had to do for him, I only completed 2 of them.  I promised him 1 remix per week – but he took so long to approve (can you believe he actually had to “approve” them first?) the first mix, there was no way I could finish all 4 of them by his deadline.  Well, so far I’ve gotten paid for ONE of the remixes.  After he tried to call me (and I wasn’t home), he left me the rudest e-mail imaginable.  He basically accused me of lying and making excuses (for why I couldn’t finish 2 mixes from scratch in 2 days) and he told me I was “finished.”  While he also said he’d send me a check for my second remix, I have yet to see it.  Had he sent me my money, I would’ve bought my ticket to NYC and attended the ceremony anyway – the movie could’ve waited until I got home, as I feel like I actually have a good chance of being this year’s Outmusician.  But noooooo…  Terry wouldn’t even answer my e-mails.  He whined like a bitch in HIS email, but totally ignored my response.  (oooh, what a diva… had to have the last word… LOL)  Granted, I could care less if he’s pissed at me.  But don’t fucking play with my money now…  He KNEW I was waiting on this check to buy my ticket to NYC.  He probably held out on purpose, just so I could miss the ceremony.  If I see a check on Monday, my suspicions will be confirmed.  

Speaking of money, OOOH… I bought myself an IRiver…  I LOVE this little machine!  Not only can I record all of my DJ sets without a computer, I can also record automatic voice MP3s…. I can watch movies (don’t ask), and basically use it as a hard drive as well.  It’s so much better than the Ipod.  Fuck the pod.  Gimme the RIVER!  LOL…  

Today, we also looked at (what is soon to be) our second house…  Nestled deep in Detroit, right near the neighborhood I first grew up in…  A HUGE 5 bedroom, 5 bathroom house.  This place was so big, I swear it had 4 levels.  Walking through it today, I thought I would get LOST.  I’ll have to take pictures of it, but I’ll wait until AFTER they say “the house is yours!!!”  We’ll have to update the house and all – but hey…  Once all the work is done, the house will be more like a palace.  I’ll probably rent it out, just because I absolutely LOVE the house I live in right now…  But lord, if I ever need to just “get away,” that second house would be like a mini-vacation…  I’ll pray about it.  That house has so much potential, I hope that everything works out.  Wish me luck?

Well, I guess I should be going to bed.  I start shooting that movie in exactly 9 hours from now.  I don’t wanna look TIRED on the screen…  And I don’t even know what to wear…  Shame, shame, shame…

Oh yeah…  the next time I post, I’m gonna tease y’all.  I will put some of the new songs I’ve been working on and remixing (both mine and others), just so you know I haven’t been slacking in the studio!  (  (Brother’s got a plan!)

Love on u…
AC

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day... The first official Mother's Day without my mom's earthly presence... In loving memory of my mother, Patricia Ann Ingram, 11/26/49 - 11/17/05. I miss you Mommy!

Love Always,
Aaron Carl Ragland Ingram (aka "Boogie")

Off My Chest

Hey there…  I just need a moment to get a few things off my chest.  Or maybe I just need a moment to figure things out; determine what the hell is going on in my life.  For starters, I’ve done quite a few gigs so far this year!  In fact, my music career in general has gotten quite a boost.  All of a sudden, I’m doing remix after remix, show after show…  I have sponsorship deal with DETSITTI clothing line, which is absolutely awesome.  In fact, I just wrote their new theme song – which has yet to be posted on their site, but I’ll notify you when it is…  It’ll also be used in their commercials – again, I’ll tell you when that happens as well.  I’m shooting my scenes for the upcoming movie “Shonuff” this June – in which I play the DJ; wonderful for me, since the movie IS centered around a club…  The movie will be shown in AMC theatres (at least here in Detroit for now) this November – I can’t wait!  This will be the 3rd movie I’ve had anything to do with, but the FIRST time I’ve ever seen myself on the BIG screen!  Scary but exciting!!!

My circle of friends are shifting, so to speak.  Seemingly out of NOWHERE, Santiago Salazar (Los Hermanos/UR) has been on my mind quite a bit.  Not in “THAT” way, you dirty-minded pervert – more like a comrade.  When I saw him at Fifth Avenue, I had nothing but respect for him.  We had our little DJ battle, but it wasn’t like “bitch, I’m out to GET you!!!”  It was based on FUN, and mutual respect.  I didn’t know he was moving back to California, but when I found out, I was a little hurt.  I thought, DAMN…  I’m just starting to get along with this guy, and he’s LEAVING!  Do you know how people are (in the industry) when they say “oh, we should do a track together?” or something like that?  We exchanged that banter, of course…  But strangely enough, it didn’t seem fake.  I REALLY thought it would be cool to do a track with him – especially after hearing this NEW track of his that he played throughout the night.  I KNEW it was HIS also – you could tell by the look on his face when he played it.  

The next night, I was invited (by him, of course) to his “going away party.”  As shocked as I was to actually GET the invite, I went anyway.  I remember him saying, “if you want to bring a few records, go ahead.”  Normally I wouldn’t have done such a thing, but I sure did.  And when I Mel and I (I took him with me) walked in the door, it was like family.  Santi’s wife and friends were all so nice to me.  Even Mike Banks showed up – crazy hairdo and all!  OOOH, if I had a camera that night!!!  LOL…  But being at this party told me a few things…  FIRST:  No matter WHAT happened to me during my OWN UR/Submerge days, I’ve earned respect.  I didn’t feel one ounce of bad vibes throughout the entire night…  And YES, I DJed—for a lot longer than I expected to, but I felt like it was a going away present from me, so I was GLAD to do it.  

The REAL going away present (Santi doesn’t know this yet) will be next FRIDAY, when we spin together at Fifth Avenue again.  I won’t tell you what the present IS, just yet – after all, this IS a public blog, right?  But I WILL say this…  He doesn’t expect it, and when he gets it, I know he will LOVE LOVE LOVE it!  Talk about a gesture of friendship!  That’s just how I am…

And speaking of friends, yes I’ve decided to call certain people OUT…  Why?  Because I believe that if you’re in someone’s life, you should ACT THAT WAY!  I don’t like having friends that I never get to see…  For example, my best friend Robbie?  I think I’ve seen him maybe ONCE or TWICE this year.  And he lives less than an hour away from me!  No phone calls, no e-mails…  And I’m like “what the hell?”  Granted, the phone works two ways.  And Lord knows I’ve been busy as ever, but still…  I’ve really been thinking about this for a while now…  Ever since my mother died.  I ask myself, what if it were ME?  What if I died?  I imagine all these people being at my funeral, crying and talking about how much they loved me.  Or I imagine someone calling my house for the first time in ions, only to hear “AC died last month…”  And you KNOW that person would feel regret!  Why?  Because they just ASSUME I’ll be here forever, no matter what… They ASSUME that they don’t have to call me or write me or keep in touch, because I’ll always be in the same place, etc…  

Are you so consumed with your OWN life that you can’t take out a moment to contact YOUR loved ones?  You better stop taking people for granted, because tomorrow isn’t promised!  That’s the ONLY thing that gets me through the day, when I think about losing my mother…  I know for a FACT that we didn’t take each other for granted.  SHE knew I loved her.  I KNEW she loved me.  We talked every day, about some of “everything!!!”  Something crazy would happen on the news, and I’d immediately call Mommy and be like “did YOU hear about THAT?!”  She’d do the same to me.  Now THAT’S friendship.  Sometimes I’d make her a CD compilation, with some songs I know would take her BACK in time…  She used to be so happy, she’d cry.  I’d sit with her and hug her, while she sang along with each song – because every song had a different memory to it, and you could tell that it did her soul good.  

I wish I could call Mommy right now…  When I got the part in the movie, I immediately picked up the phone and was like, “Let me call MOMMY!”  But that’s when I’m painfully reminded.  Damn…  I can’t call her.  And I should know that she’s up in heaven, smiling down at me – but sometimes it’s hard to believe in spirits.  I know there’s a God.  I’m just being honest.  I miss my mother, and I wish she was here with me – not just in spirit, but in HUMAN form, like she used to be.  

Then again, am I being selfish?  While my mother was here in human form, she suffered daily.  I KNOW she had a lot of obstacles to overcome, from polio to breast cancer – neither of which claimed her life, I might add.  I know she struggled a LOT, just to survive on a daily basis.  When she got laid off from United Way (or should I say, forced to leave), she knew she couldn’t live forever off her retirement money.  The fact that she put most of it away for us – her children, makes me wonder…  Did she KNOW she would die?  Was this her way of making sure we were taken care of?  

Moving on (because Lord knows I could talk FOREVER about my mother), I think it’s time for me to release another record.  Did I tell you that I was gonna release a limited-edition White Vinyl 12-inch of SKY and CRUCIFIED?  (New mixes, of course!)  That’ll be my next official Wallshaker release.  I’ll also put little tributes on the record – one on each side.  One for my father; one for my mother.  I miss them both terribly…

Now I’ve gotta go for now.  I need to go to the store and buy myself a PERM for my hair – oooh, you should SEE it right now…  And I have a house guest coming by in about an hour or so.  I swear, black people are SO last minute!  (  I’ll write more soon, but in the meantime, thanks for listening – to my music AND my rants.  Just knowing that someone out there gives a damn, makes all the difference in the world.

Love
AC

Nominations and Revelations

Respect…  I’ve been nominated for Outmusic’s “OUTMUSICIAN of the YEAR.”  As excited as I am, I can’t help but wonder…  Will I get snubbed this year?  And if I do, should it really matter?  Now, some of you may ask “what exactly IS an OUTmusician?”  Hopefully I won’t have to explain the meaning of OUT – you should get the point.  But does this award go to the “gayest” person of the year?  And if so, is that something to be worn as a badge of honor?  

Well, to answer it truthfully…  HELL YES it is!  Granted, it’s deeper than that.  I know the award is to recognize someone (the Outmusician) who is living his life to HELP the LGBT community, and awarding him/her for their contributions to “the cause.”  Long story short, award or NO award, I’m still gonna be ME.  Gay as hell, yes…  Proud as hell, YES.  And while I don’t parade around the streets in my rainbow flag (anymore), I DEFINITELY represent myself to the fullest…  

Right now, I know I’m preaching to the choir, so I’ll shut the fuck up about that.  …But wouldn’t it be something if I actually WON?  Most of these winners hail from New York, or fall into the “acoustic/folk” category…  And I don’t think they’ve EVER had a black Outmusician of the year.  Wouldn’t it be nice if I – a black-ass, electronic music maker from DETROIT, actually WON?  Let’s keep our fingers crossed!

As for this DEMF festival…  I swear, somebody needs to put the “D” back into the DEMF.  So far, there’s still no “complete lineup” but I know for a fact that UR, Mike Banks or anyone else from Submerge has NOT been asked to perform.  These Paxahau bitches, what are they doing???!!!  I hope you don’t think I’m ranting because I’m not performing this year.  NO, that has NOTHING to do with it.  (All right, maybe just a little, but ONLY a little…)  My MAIN concern is the way I was told…  “Our lineup is full…”  Well, why is it NOT announced?  And rumor has it that they wanna charge $40 to $50 to get INTO the festival…  (Are y’all crazy?!)

Last night was the premier of the movie “High Tech Soul,” which I REALLY wanted to see.  And although it was $25 to get in, I would’ve paid it happily – it’s about time that Detroiters got our respect for the music we do.  And that MAESTRO movie didn’t say much about Detroit at all – although they used two of my songs in the film…  I’m sure I’m probably not mentioned ANYWHERE in this High Tech Soul movie, but hey.  It’s all good.  I know where the fuck I’m from.  I know what the fuck I’ve done.  And I knew a long time ago, that if I wasn’t Derrick May, Kevin Saunderson, Carl Craig or some other “cat from way back,” I wouldn’t get much love at all.  

Then again, I realize that with all the fans I’ve acquired over the years, and as much as my name is known, I DO get lots of love, so let me shut the fuck up about THAT too.  Long story short, I discovered that Paxahau was in charge of this “High Tech Soul” premier, so what did I do?  I stayed the fuck HOME.  And I know that some of my friends stayed home as well…  It was a tough decision, because I REALLY wanted to see that movie.  And I’m sure I will someday soon…  

I feel sorry for the people who come here from overseas, expecting to see and hear DETROIT artists.  They won’t get us.  Scan 7 isn’t performing…  Aux 88 isn’t performing (although I heard they at least were ASKED…)  Underground Resistance isn’t performing…  WTF?!  Where’s the D?  (And I swear, if I hear that gottdamn “Good Life” one more time, I’ll scream!)

I DID get a wonderful inspirational e-mail from Anthony “Shake” Shakir.  While I won’t give out ALL the details, he reminded me:  “Keep making the real Hot, Hard, Funky, Smooth and soulful music that you already do.”  He also reminded me that “truth always overtakes the lies…  EVERYTIME.”  Amen, Shake!  

We’ll see what happens…

Alright…  My 11 year-old son STEFAN asked me for a CELL PHONE!!! I made him write down all the reasons why he feels he “NEEDS” a cell phone – what the hell?  An 11 year-old with a CELL phone?  Am I old-fashioned, or does this bullshit just seem WEIRD?  Mind you, this is the SAME Stefan who is currently in danger of failing the 6th grade – not because he’s not smart, but because he blatantly REFUSES to do his work…  Now he IS improving his behavior – you know, he swears he’s a Diva like his daddy.  He’s a LEO, like his daddy.  And when he wants to be, he’s a BITCH – just like his daddy.  It’s definitely a love/hate relationship that we have, I’m sure…  I love him to death, but I swear, there can ONLY be ONE diva in this house – and I have to remind him that it’s NOT him.  But I digress.  He wants a CELL PHONE…  Here are his reasons:

1. To chat with my friends…


2. If you don’t know where I am, you could call me…


3. When you’re on the phone, and I need to call someone…


4. Because I just REALLY REALLY want a cell phone…

Aww, how cute.  Right?  (yeah, right…)

1. I knew how to chat with MY friends BEFORE the days of cell phones.  Whatever happened to good old fashioned visitors?  


2. Every GOOD parent should know where his/her child is – at ALL times!


3. …we have more than one phone line in our house – quit playing…


4. …and I REALLY REALLY want a million dollars and a more fulfilling sex life, but you don’t hear ME complaining, do you?  (well, DO you?)

Y’all know I’m gonna probably break down and give him a damn cell phone, right?  But not until he’s at least EARNED the privilege.  He’ll be happy – but as soon as he starts fucking up, I’ll SNATCH that cell phone quicker than he can say “Daddy, don’t do it!”  I think I was this way about my first CAR…  Now it’s all about cell phones.  Lord, the next thing you know, he’ll be asking ME about HIS first car.  YIKES!!!

Oh no…  now my 6 year-old son JEVON says, “Daddy, I want a cell phone TOO!”  Ahh, such is life…  I’m just gonna buy them some walkie-talkies and call it a damn day!

Talk to y’all soon…
AC

D?EMF

Maybe it's just me... But being a Detroit artist (of international stature), I found it surprising to get this response from Paxahau when I asked about an opportunity to perform at this year's festival. As of today, their lineup is FULL.

...full of WHAT, I ask?!

The last lineup I saw included a long list of non-Detroit DJs -- not including the obvious Kevin Saunderson, Derrick May, blah blah blah. (Respect of course, but come on!) There is an entirely new breed of worthy Detroit artists who deserved to be showcased. But I digress. I'm not performing this year -- along with lots of other artists who deserve a slot, but won't get it. Politics, whatever... This bullshit is ridiculous.

Murder Suicide

Yesterday I received some terrible news. My cousin, Sharee, was shot and killed by her husband. He then turned the gun on himself and committed suicide. Every news channel in Detroit was there at the scene, which made me feel so sick. Mind you, this IS Detroit and these things happen all the time. BUT, when they happen to members of MY family -- it's especially hard. Damn... And Sharee was just 39 years old. Although she's done her "dirt" in the past, she was doing very well for herself. Her hair salon "My Indian Hair" (www.myindianhair.com) is doing great! Sharee was all over the TV/Commercials.

After spending all day at Sharee's house -- the bodies were still in the bedroom, the coroner wouldn't come to the house until everyone was gone. Mind you, I have a pretty big family, and when things like this happen, we all come together. I HATE that it took death to bring us together, but I'm GLAD that my family DOES come together in times of trouble.

I guess the REALLY messed up part about all of this is, Sharee had given her husband 30 days to move out of their house. (Their marriage was rocky.) Although he didn't argue with Sharee, I guess he had his mind made up about NOT leaving -- at least, not without her. So shortly after the kids went to school, he shot Sharee while she slept. I'm still in shock about the whole ordeal.

When I came home, I immediately turned on the news, and sure enough it was there. My cousin Jimmy (Sharee's Uncle) was the family spokesperson -- which was good, considering that he's a Pastor (one of many pastors in my family). I probably would've lost my mind on camera, and cursed those insensitive bastards out. They didn't give a shit about my cousin -- they just wanted their "story..."

When I woke up this morning, I just heard the news about PROOF (D-12) the rapper. He was shot and killed in a club on East 8 Mile Rd. What is this world coming to? I swear, I am seriously considering getting the fuck out of Detroit. Sure, that won't fix the problem. But I hate looking over my shoulder all the time. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, considering I was born and raised here. But this shit doesn't get any easier. Oh well... I've gotta keep on living.

AC

The Latest...

Hey there. I am writing this blog in-between tour dates. Tomorrow night is my show in Darmstadt, Germany -- which is an absolutelz BEAUTIFUL place, I might add... Vienna was magical, as always... This Sunday, it's back home to Detroit for me. That's when the REAL fun starts!!!

Why, you ask? Because although I haven't made the formal announcement yet, but guess who just got their very own club space? Oh yes, I sure did! The grand opening is May 6th, and I plan to rock the damn house, every Saturday night, afterhours, till 6 a.m.. The flyers will be more like INVITATIONS, as I am not promoting the club itself, but the parties WITHIN the club. Why? Because it's all about the music. If DJ Ken Collier were still alive, his club would be just like this one...

But more on that later. Right now, since TIM (Mariah) got on my case about not writing in the blog, I guess I better start giving up some details. Mind you, right now I am on a European keyboard with a dial-up connection... YIKES! But since you asked, I'll give you some highlights...

Show number one @ Reigen, Vienna, Austria... Pure magic. During my DJ set, you KNOW I had to grab the mic and sing some tunes... In fact, the crowd went crayz when I sung DOWN (I know, I know, but I had to do it...=, then broke off into HATEFUL... This was the first REAL performance since my mother's death, so I was quite emotional when I sang GHETTO LIFE, and SKY. In fact, I sang SKY twice that night, because they asked for it!

Another BIG moment of the night was after my show, I played Crucified -- sorry, no acapella this time. I caught a damn cold on the way to Vienna, and I was NOT trying to fuck up on stage like that... LOL! But nonetheless, I played the original version of Crucified -- an anthem among these folks. And then it hit me... I had to make this moment the BEST possible moment of my life, so here's what I did.

When the record was over, I addressed the crowd. The CRUCIFIED 12-inch I had in my hands was actually the FIRST ORIGINAL WHITE LABEL copy off the press. It belonged to my mother, who proudly signed her name "Pat's Copy" and the date 8-29-96 -- the day that record came out. Mommy loved having the first copies of my records -- she was so proud... So anyway, I told this to the audience, and noticed a girl standing right in front. I thought, SHE would really appreciate this, so I gave her the record. It was such an emotional moment for me, when I finished my show, I rushed backstage and cried my eyes out. I was happy, sad and thankful all at the same time.

I also found my mother's original white label copy of WASH IT with DOWN on the B-side, which came out the same day as CRUCIFIED... And in Mommy's usual form, it says "Pat's Copy" and the date... I will NEVER part with THIS record!!!

SHOW NUMBER TWO:
PMK, INNSBROOK, AUSTRIA

At first I was afraid of what might happen, as this was primarily a ROCK club in a small mountain town. I'm used to performing in big cities, but THIS place was just the opposite. Well, my worries were for nothing... The show was OUTRAGEOUS! From the moment I stepped on stage, the crowd shouted, danced, and loved every second. In fact, I think I enjoyed THIS set much better... I played better -- doing tricks with the turntables that had everyone hollering... It was so weird! I guess it was one of those moments... I knew every beat to every record, and I worked the fuck out of each tune -- dangerously fun... Later, someone in the crowd shouted "SING TO US!" When I heard that, I addressed the crowd, to which I received a thunderous reply. They REALLY DID want me to SING for them!!! So, of course I did. Of course, they loved it. And of course, I LOVED IT AS WELL!!!

Now comes the show in Darmstadt, Germany... It's tomorrow night, and I'm using this opportunity just to chill... No stress, no drama, no work, no nothing... But then again, here I am on the Internet. Go figure. LOL!!!

DETREVOLUTION is still selling, and that's wonderful news. I gave out lots of test pressings for the CHERRY JUICE RECORDINGS label, which is also a good thing. People here seem quite interested -- what the fuck is up with the distributors??? But that's another story.

When I return to Detroit, I will post pictures, sound clips, blah blah blah. No worries. Y'all will get to see what I've been doing.

In the meantime, have fun... I'll chat more soon.

Love
AC

No Fuse-In 06?

What the f*ck, people?! Pardon my tone in this post, but as a native Detroiter who wants to help keep Detroit on the map, I say this to all of you: WE need to step our game up. I'll explain...

KEVIN SAUNDERSON did something that was next to impossible... He organized a successful festival in 9 days, people. 9 DAYS! He took on the debt of the past festivals, and basically lost a LOT of money trying to pull this thing off, but the point is, HE DID IT. Now, God bless him for his achievements, but again, the DETROIT in me is coming out... KEVIN SAUNDERSON does NOT a FESTIVAL MAKE... I repeat. KEVIN SAUNDERSON does NOT a festival make... And before I get blasted with pro-KS messages, I'll explain even further...

IN THIS CITY, there are so many people who wish to see this festival happen, but what are we doing? We're waiting on KEVIN... or we're waiting on "The City." We're waiting and waiting... WHY THE HELL ARE WE WAITING for ANYBODY? This is OUR city. This is OUR shit. And if WE wanna keep this thing going, WE need to step up and do something about it.

For starters, we all know this to be true: It takes MONEY. But truthfully, there's only about $250,000 worth of debt racked up. And yes, I say "ONLY" $250K. Imagine what could happen if every Detroit artist/producer/DJ/label owner/distributor/etc. stood TOGETHER and pooled their resources? What if we started a DEMF fund? It's really easy to do. Think about it. We throw parties all the time. Why not take a percentage of our money and put it towards the DEMF? I'm calling out ALL of these Detroit companies... For every dollar you make, why not take $25 cents of each dollar and donate it to the DEMF fund? Sounds crazy, eh? IT CAN BE DONE! If I can buy a 12-inch vinyl for $5, and not think twice about it... I can CERTAINLY pay $6.25 for that same piece of vinyl, KNOWING that $1.25 of that money is going towards the DEMF... If I can pay $5 to get into a club/party, I can CERTAINLY pay $7, knowing that $2.00 of my money was going towards the DEMF. Simple gestures, but they make a BIG difference. Multiply that amount with every party we attend, with every record we buy, etc... And WATCH HOW FAST we can make $250,000. And if we kept it going all year long, we'd ALWAYS have a festival, because it would ALWAYS be supported.

Other countries are LAUGHING at us right now... Do you know why it's no problem for EUROPEANS to pay $10 to enter a club? Because they pay nearly DOUBLE THAT amount all the time in their countries -- for LOCAL DJS! But what do WE do, as Detroiters? We bitch and moan. "That costs TOO MUCH..." "I ain't paying $X to see so-and-so..." Or even worse... Somebody's ALWAYS trying to get on "the list..." THINK ABOUT THAT the next time you go out, people... And for the promoters/club owners, I recommend you travel the world a bit, and see how it's done... Don't be afraid to set a new standard! Detroit is worth it! Don't you think so?

In closing, I'll say this: I WANT this festival, and I will gladly support any business/organization who is working to make this happen. We have plenty of time to make a difference. Let's all get together and make this HAPPEN! Long live the 313...

AC

Happenings

Well, it’s been a busy time, y’all!  I can’t complain, because it’s also been very good.  Besides the shows I have coming up in Austria and Germany, I also have a new DJ residency here in Detroit.  Wallshaker’s sub-label, Cherry Juice Recordings (www.cherryjuicerecordings.com) is finally taking shape, with the white labels to our first release (Laurent & Lewis: “MOTION”) in hand.  

As for Detrevolution, it’s selling very well – especially in Japan.  I sent another order to Japan yesterday – and from what I hear, it’s been on backorder.  I also sent more “Hateful” remixes too.  

“Tears” is being released on Subject Detroit.  I’m VERY excited about that record!  So far, the entire buzz has been great.  What I DO hope, however, is that people remember where “Tears” came from…  Where did it come from?!  Detrevolution…  

MYSPACE is some good shit…  If you feel like linking to me, please do so:  www.myspace.com/aaroncarl.  I like the networking aspect of it.  However, I don’t really care for that MP3 player – it’s so restrictive.  What if I wanna put MORE than 4 songs online at once?  Well, I’ll do what I do best.  Use my OWN shit…  That’s how www.aaroncarl.com was born!  

D.D.V.  has still not contacted me about adding Wallshaker – are you surprised?  But instead of being bitter about it, I’ll do what I said I’d do the last time.  Put my catalog back online.  Sell it myself.  

Now here’s my question…  There are so many online stores now, which one do you choose?  Which one is the best?  I’m already a part of Beatport.com and Juno.co.uk.  I’m a part of CD Baby, and ITunes as well.  Is it good to be a part of so many online places?  Or should I just stay centralized in ONE location?  

Oh yeah…  Before I leave, I have to tell you what I found over the weekend!!!  I’ve found some videos of my past performances, and OH MY GOD was I laughing!!!  They’ll be posted online at my website soon – I’ve figured out how to upload these bitches, so y’all can watch and laugh too.  (  

PS:  I was skinny as hell!  LOL!!!  

The guys at Command Your Soul (www.commandyoursoul.com) have also posted a video portrait of me during my last visit to Vienna.  Oh man, talk about FUNNY!!!  My friend Jim (from France) saw the video and said “that is SO YOU!”  I can’t wait to return there.  Next time I go, I’ll remember three very important rules:

1. Just because you pay 25 cents to pee in the “Opera Toilet” does NOT mean the toilet will sing Opera to you.


2. “Weiner-In” is a woman’s magazine – not a sexual position…


3. Make sure you bring MORE THAN ONE JACKET, because I swear to God, I was there for an entire week – and it looked like I wore the same outfit all the damn time…  HAHAHHAHHA!!!!!  Now I understand why Divas have so many costume changes.  (Watch and learn, AC…  Watch and learn…)

Oh man!  I was in a pretty bad mood when I started writing this, but now I feel so much better.  I hope I made you smile!

Talk to you soon,
Love
AC

Catch-Up

Hey there…  It’s been a LONG time since I’ve written, yes.  Trust me, there have been so many things happening here, it’s crazy.  BUT before I go to bed, I will let you know what’s going on with me.  

For starters, my new sub-label, Cherry Juice Recordings, has its first release scheduled for March 3, 2006!  I’m very excited to be able to branch out – Wallshaker Music has its own sound.  CJR has a “lighter” edge – it reminds me of a lounge club in Paris…  The first release?  “MOTION” by Laurent & Lewis, of course!  The white labels sound fantastic, and I know that people will LOVE the remixes.  Although this is not an official “Aaron-Carl” record, I did co-produce the record with Laurent, plus remix and add backing vocals.  I couldn’t help it…  

I’m starting to tour again – I’m a little nervous because it will be the first time I’ve boarded a plane since the death of my mother, but I know she’d want me to go on…  So I am.  (I miss you Mommy!)  My first stop?  Vienna, Austria, March 24th.  The wonderful guys at www.commandyoursoul.com are bringing me back to Vienna, so I can tear things up.  Last time I went, it was magic.  I can’t wait to bring it to the crowd again…  Next, Darmstadt, Germany.  Actually, during the week of March 24, I have 3 shows to do.  2 in Austria, one in Germany.  

Of course that’s just the beginning, but you know how things are…  Everyone talks, but things are still panning out.  But the dates I just mentioned are confirmed.  I’m SO THERE, BABY!!!

Oh yeah…  I finally did it.  I broke down and bought one of those new CD Turntables – it will arrive at my house tomorrow…  I’ve been waiting an entire week for delivery – I can’t stand it anymore.  HURRY UP!!!  I WANT IT!!!  

Wednesday is Jevon’s 6th birthday.  I have no idea what to buy him.  I’m sure I’ll come up with SOMETHING…  

Charles from Ohio sent me an e-mail also.  After months and months of playing “hard to get” with me – I couldn’t even take him out to dinner sometime (jesus!), He says in his e-mail “oh yeah, I’ve found a new boyfriend…”  Right now, I’m so damn numb it’s ridiculous.  I swear, I’m so fucking sick of men – sick!

Speaking of SICK…

Detroit Digital Vinyl is now online.  Have you noticed that my label, Wallshaker Music, is conveniently NOT THERE?!  I wrote them an e-mail, asking them “is Detroit Digital Vinyl strictly for SUBMERGE labels, or is it for ALL DETROIT LABELS?”  Mind you, my songs “Down” and the remix to “Hardlife” are there…  But COME ON, PEOPLE…  I’ve made so many more damn songs…  Damn!  Their reply was that they were waiting for some “standard contract” paperwork; then they’d send me one to look over.  (Yeah, okay.)  But in the meantime, Detroit Digital Vinyl is up and running – and other Detroit labels, like Wallshaker, are left in the dust.

But there is a GOOD side to all of this, you know!  THANK GOD, I have enough fans and supporters out there who would appreciate ME putting MY catalog online.  I don’t NEED to be a part of DDV…  As much as I would like to be, I realize that I don’t HAVE TO BE…  Uh oh…  I feel a song coming on…  “Did you think I’d crumble?  Did you think I’d lay down and die?  OH NO, NOT I…  I WILL SURVIVE…”

Changing the subject, I LOVE Myspace!!!  Lately I’ve been getting lots of props from people – I love connecting with people…  www.myspace.com/aaroncarl is my page, and yes I’d love to link up with you.  Send me a comment, check out some tunes, etc.  Which reminds me – I DID post that live version of “DOWN” on there – I’m thinking maybe I should let people download it for free.  Fuck it.  Why not?  In fact, right after I post this blog, I’m going to change the download settings.  

Yes, I know “Down” is a classic, but NOW I know how Madonna feels about singing “Live a Virgin” 10 years after she released it.  (Speaking of Madonna, she needs to call me, so I can remix her new stuff!)

Alright folks…  I’m up WAY later than I thought I would be…  Tomorrow (today) is a BIG day for me.  Lord knows I need my booty rest – ooops, I meant BEAUTY rest.  (Hell… the BOOTY needs to be dusted off and removed from the shelves – but that’s a different story!)

As they said back in the 80’s , T. T. F. N…  

AC

Decade

Here’s to 10 wonderful crazy years in the music business…  And here’s to many more!Much love,AC